An Open Letter to My Hearing Friends from Shanna Groves

Recently, I discovered this amazing woman and author who is bringing awareness to hearing loss and difficulties via literature, her blog, and YouTube. Here is a letter from her. Please welcome Shanna Groves.

Dear Friend,

I want to discuss an important difference we have—something that can impact our entire communication from this point forward.

When you were born, your hearing was normal. So was mine. For years, I took the ability to hear for granted. I listened to my car stereo several notches too loud and sat in concert arenas filled with the shrill sounds of guitars, drums and vocalists belting out tunes. As a college student, I worked in a noisy printing press environment without wearing earplugs. All the while, my hearing gradually suffered.

For the past 11 years, my life has differed from yours. It’s all because of a diagnosis I received two months after my oldest child was born: I have progressive hearing loss.

What does that mean? Imagine losing the sensitive hairs that line the back of your neck, one by one. You wait and wait for them to grow back, but they never do. For some unknown reason, the hairs are gone forever. That has happened to my inner ears. The nerve hairs in the deepest part of each ear have been destroyed permanently. Cause unknown. Without these hairs, my ears are not as sensitive to sound as yours.

The first part of my hearing that disappeared was with high-frequency pitches—birds singing, kids screaming, phones ringing, and all soft consonant sounds (f, s, t, v). Gone. Permanently. I am deaf to these noises.

The inability to hear high-frequency pitches affects all of my conversations with you.

You: “Is the baby sleeping?”

What I hear: “Ha! Baby leaping.”

You: “What time is it?”

What I hear: “Whoa, I’m in.”

I have worn hearing aids for nine years to help with hearing better. But please repeat after me:

HEARING AIDS ARE A HELP, NOT A SOLUTION FOR HEARING LOSS.

With my hearing aids, I can hear the phone ring and the kids scream and soft consonant sounds—most of the time. Yet even with the aids, I still can’t hear robins chirping over me as I sit on my backyard swing. Do I miss that sound? Yes. Every day.

I want to ask that the two of us find a way to bridge the gap between our hearing differences, to understand each other. So, here are my suggestions...

~ Please face me when you speak. My eyes have become my ears. I watch your lips move and interpret your facial and body gestures. That is impossible to do when I am in the driver’s seat and you are talking to me from the passenger’s side of the car. Let me stop the car or come to a stoplight so I can give you my full attention.

~ Quiet rooms are always the best place for me to hear you well. When this isn’t possible, I hear better in a private booth rather than at a table in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Better yet, pull me aside, look me in the eye, and speak slowly and with good articulation. Doing this will decrease the chances of you having to repeat yourself three times before I get it.

~ I don’t expect you to walk on eggshells if you are unsure whether I have heard something you said. It is much better to tell me that I didn’t respond to your question, than to assume I am rude, dumb or zoned out for not answering.

~ If any of my suggestions seem too radical, I’d like you to try an experiment. Wedge two cotton balls in both of your ears, then try to carry on a conversation in a noisy room with your eyes closed. Difficult, isn’t it? Welcome to my world!

By writing to you, I hope to provide insight that will help when we have our next conversation. You are a good friend for taking the time to read this letter. You’ve shown support in my hearing journey by taking an interest in what I write. Thank you for that.

As your friend, here is my commitment to you...

~ I promise to give you my full attention when you speak to me.

~ I promise to politely ask you to repeat yourself if I have missed something you said.

~ I promise to care about what you have to say because I care about you.

Blessings,

Shanna Groves

http://LipreadingMom.com

###

AUTHOR BIO

Shanna Groves was diagnosed with progressive hearing loss two months after her oldest child was born. She was 27. Her books, Lip Reader, and Confessions of a Lip Reading Mom, were inspired by her experiences with deafness. Follow her blogs LipreadingMom.com and Deaf-Insight.com/Ask-Lipreading-Mom, and read more about her writing and speaking at www.ShannaGroves.com.

She has a book releasing soon called Confessions of a Lip Reading Mom. Also, take a moment to watch her YouTube video. SHOW HER YOUR EARS! 

Grace Elliot...What Makes Her Cry?

Please welcome Grace Elliot.

"Last Saturday I went to the cinema and was taken on the most wonderful emotional journey. Forewarned by tales of people not leaving at the end credits, because they didn't want others to see they had been crying, I braced myself. Indeed, about ten minutes into the movie at the first emotional hiatus, my 20 year old son was swallowing so heavily I could hear him in the dark, but I remained dry eyed. After three-quarters of an hour and the death of a main character, I congratulate myself on still not having shed a tear whilst those around me sat sniffing. So I was totally unprepared, when after nearly three hours, and the movie reached its conclusion I was like a helpless baby with tears rolling down my cheeks and soaking my roll-neck sweater.



And what was the movie?

Les Miserables.

The irony is, that despite being left bereft at the end, I , along with the rest of the cinema stood and clapped. And the reason we clapped was that we had seen a towering example of the glory of the human spirit and the power of love. Not only that, but the film was a feast for the senses; from wonderful sweeping vista shots and searching close-ups, to the soaring music and wonderful lyrics, a true celebration of creativity, and a wonderful escape to a different world.

And that's what I look for in a good book; that sense of being immersed in a world that becomes real and to care about the characters such that their troubles become mine. As an author, my aim is to write the sort of page-turner I love to read, but only you, the reader can say whether I have succeeded or not.

In my latest release, "Hope's Betrayal", Captain George Huntley falls in love with his prisoner, a smuggler called Hope Tyler. But love on opposite sides of the law is a difficult destiny to follow when it means court-marshal for Huntley, or Hope betraying her own family. 

***

Grace Elliot leads a double life as a veterinarian by day and author of historical romance by night. Grace believes intelligent people need to read romance as an antidote to the modern world. As an avid reader of historicals she turned to writing as a release from the emotionally draining side of veterinary work.

Grace lives near London and is addicted to cats. The Elliot household consists of five cats, two teenage sons, one husband, a guinea pig - and the latest addition - a bearded dragon!



Author Links

Website / Blog / Newsletter / Facebook / Twitter / Amazon Author Page

Hope’s Betrayal 

By 

Grace Elliot 

Historical Romance 

November 2012 

One wild, winter's night two worlds collide. 

Known for his ruthless efficiency, Captain George Huntley is sent to stamp out smuggling on the south coast of England. On a night raid, the Captain captures a smuggler, but finds his troubles are just beginning when the lad turns out to be a lass, Hope Tyler. 

With Hope as bait, the Captain sets a trap to catch the rest of the gang. But in a battle of wills, with his reputation at stake, George Huntley starts to respect feisty, independent Hope. Challenged by her sea-green eyes and stubborn loyalty Huntley now faces a new threat - his growing attraction to a sworn enemy. But a love where either Hope betrays her own kind, or Captain Huntley is court-marshaled, is not an easy destiny to follow. 

Excerpt 
Lass Not a Lad.- Captain Huntley Makes a Discovery About his Prisoner. 
Alone with his prisoner the Captain set to work, his face all harsh angles in the lamplight. First to stem the bleeding. Working with deft hands, he pulled the bloodstained scarf from the felon's head. Surprise registered, as he noted the delicate ears and elegant neck. The boy’s hair gleamed like polished-coal in the lamplight; tied back in a pony tail, black-as-the-devil’s heart. 

Huntley reached for a rag to wipe blood from the boy's eyes and cheek. Soft skin emerged from beneath the clotted mess. The boy was young…a round face with pointed chin, a tipped nose …and lips, softly parted and provocatively plump….just ripe for kissing. A flush of heat warmed Huntley's cheeks. What was he thinking?

Wiping his sleeve across his eyes he forced himself to continue. He bathed the laceration, cleaning away sand and blood. Something about this lad had stirred deep emotions and the captain didn’t like it one little bit. He glanced toward the door, not wanting to be alone with the smuggler and these strange feelings he stirred.

“What the devil's taking that wench so long?”

The fire was crackling nicely now, steam rising from the lad's clothes. But it wasn’t warm enough; cold could kill every bit as much as blood loss.

”Hell's teeth, do I have to do everything myself?”

With rising irritation, Huntley set to stripping the lad of his wet clothes.

He peeled back the patched jacket, twice its weight with water, and dropped it to the floor. A patched and frayed shirt, sticky with blood, clung to the lad’s lean frame. Huntley tugged the shirt-tail free of the lad’s sodden breeches and off over his head, with the result that the Captain's pulse raced alarmingly.

“Get a grip, man.” Huntley muttered.

The lad had unexpectedly slim shoulders, a silver stiletto strapped to his thin upper arm.

“Naughty.”

Unsheathing the knife he held the elegant blade toward the firelight; a finely crafted weapon of silver filigree over an ivory handle— a lady’s weapon, and obviously expensive.

“Who did you steal this from, then?”

Placing the stiletto safely out of reach, he turned back to the table. Stripped of his shirt, it seemed the lad had broken ribs, for his chest was strapped. The bindings were soaked and must come off. Shifting the unconscious lad into a sitting position, balancing him against his shoulder, Huntley unwound the bandages.

As he lay the lad back down on the table, Huntley was suddenly struck by the peculiar shadows playing across the boy’s chest. A flush of blood heated his cheeks. That explained a lot! Huntley’s mouth dropped open; he threw back his head and laughed aloud with relief.

“Tis not a lad….but a lass!"

Alone in the scullery with a half-naked girl…no, not a girl, for she had the soft curves of a woman. Huntley took a step back. The sense of relief was overwhelming, that it was a woman who had excited his body so. He looked around for someone to share his astonishment, but the maid had not yet returned.

In his experience women were tiresome, wearisome creatures that sapped the spirit and drained the mind, but he studied this one with interest. Dark lashes lay brushed against her cheek, an almost catlike tilt to her closed eyes. Her skin was clear, fresh, and unblemished. Her face was wide, round even, but with a pointed chin and a nose turned up at the end. In all he decided, she was beautiful with the stubbornness of a mule and fragility of a china doll. She had been a worthy advisory on the dunes; agile, brave and resourceful and it thrilled him to the core. Lost in thought ,Huntley shrugged off his outer coat and covered her over, then removed himself to a respectable distance.

Nothing had changed, he told himself. She was a felon and would pay the penalty demanded by law. And if Huntley felt uneasy at the prospect he suppressed the emotion, it was just that he had to get used to the notion of interrogating a woman. Buy Links 
Amazon US / Amazon UK / Smashwords / Kobo 

Out of Sight Out of Mind by Evonne Wareham

A romantic suspense with a paranormal twist, but when I say paranormal, I don't mean vampires or shape shifters or such. I mean...mind reading.

The heroine can read minds and when she meets this homeless and bedraggled man in an alley and feels a weird connection to him, she thinks she's hit the jackpot with a perfect subject to experiment on and gets a lot more than she bargained for. * I appreciate this homeless man twist. Parts here made me think about how quickly we judge others by their appearance when in reality, we know nothing about them or why they are in the situation we are in. *

There's lots of shocking and dirty secrets revealed as the end comes near. Elaborate plots in which it's hard to tell who is one whose side. Even in the end, I was a tiny bit confused by some things. Was the gov't in on it? Did they want it too? Why did they permit this and that... I was left with some questions.

I really enjoyed watching the relationship between her and Jay unfold though. The sex was great--not too much, not too little.

The story keeps you guessing. "Whose side is he on? Did he know about this? Who is responsible?" The entire tale is like neatly made bed in the beginning and very slowly you pull back the covers, inch-by-inch, sheet by sheet. That last 3/4 especially are WOWZA!

And I'm going to be very careful not to reveal much more than that as this is one of those stories in which the less said, the better. I'd hate to ruin it for someone.

I was very surprised by the turn of events. This was NOT a predictable story in any way. I confess in the middle there for a while, my mind began to stray. I feel like it was made a little longer than it needed to be, took too long to get to the point at times. Thus, four bikes.

Tracy & Charley Vega Talk Personal Dating Safety for Your Teenage Daughter... Or Yourself.

This post is in honor of February Teen Dating Violence, but I believe we need to be aware of this all year round and not just teens, but women, period. Date rape is a serious threat. Many of us have faced it. Many of you have daughters who will face it. Please welcome Tracy & Charley Vega. I've invited them to talk about this, because I feel it's important. They have a great tip for your daughter to ward off a potential attack...and you women may need to use this yourselves. Who knows?

"We all dread the day that our daughter will ask permission to go out on her first date.  You thought you were prepared but now that it’s actually going to happen, are you and your daughter ready?

Let’s start with some basic questions such as what do you know about the person your daughter is dating?

Where did they meet?

Do you know the family?

Will someone from their family be driving them?

Are they old enough to drive?

What do they drive?              

Do they have a curfew?

What contact information do you have of the date?

I know you are probably thinking that all of these are common sense questions and they are, but is your daughter giving you the information freely? The last thing you want is for her to go on date with someone you know nothing about! Of course a lot of this information will depend on how old your daughter and her date are.  One of the first things I would suggest  you do is go on a few social media sites and see what you can find out.  Sometimes what you hear and what you should know are worlds apart. Before you give permission for the date you should be completely satisfied with the answers you received (or found out) to the questions above.

We all have butterflies before a date but trust your daughter’s instincts. If she reluctant or showing any signs of hesitation trust her instincts and find out why. This would be particularly important if this is happening before a second date. Maybe something didn’t seem right the first time. It’s scary to think that we have to prepare our kids for a “bad date” but we need to.

Would your daughter know what to do if her date was getting a little too touchy feely? Would she know how to make that stop if she needed to? Here is what your daughter should know if her date is paying a little too much attention to her and refuses to remove his arm from around her shoulder. It’s a very simple solution that literally gets the point across.

Imagine making a “girl fist” with your thumb sticking out and over your fist slightly (thumb on top). Now imagine the area where the bottom of your bra strap is and the seam of your shirt meet. This would be the target area. She would take her thumb and with a pushing motion, push hard into the other person’s ribs.  This will create space between your daughter and the date. Tell her to say whatever she wants to get the point across. It won’t hurt them but it does bruise their ego and they will let go. Moms, this is a great tip to hang on to. You might just find it useful at the next family get together!

If the date doesn’t let go and it’s a continual problem, that could be one of the first signs that this person could be a danger to your daughter. After they have been dating awhile always watch for changes in your daughter’s personality and habits. Does it seem like she is covering up more than usual? It’s something you never want to think about but she could be covering bruises. Don’t ever think it can’t happen to your family because it can.

Many times when a girl faces an unruly situation or an attack in her relationship she may be hesitant to say anything or completely reluctant to reporting it in any fashion. Let me say this… If the person causing the harm is starting at an early age it’s likely not going to get better as they grow older. Your daughter may feel betrayed or humiliated that she has to talk about it but she needs to understand that she could be saving a life in the future.  As a parent if someone were harming my daughter I would react very quickly and demand answers. Speak up and tell your daughter it’s ok to do the same!

The safety tips in this article and many others can be found on our Simple Self Defense for Women DVD. Please visit our website www.simpleselfdefenseforwomen.com for more details."

***

Tracy and Charley Vega are the founders of Simple Self Defense for Children, Teens and Women, an award winning company that promotes the personal safety through their PBS TV Show, Keynote Speaking, DVD’s and their popular seminars in which they criss-cross the country speaking to different companies and organizations. 

Their entertaining and lively personal safety lessons have previously been featured on Lifetime television’s “The Balancing Act,” SheKnows TV, CBS 6 News, ABC 2 News, WNZF Radio, The John Tesh Radio Show, The Daily Buzz, The Daytona News Journal, Channel 13 News, My Bliss Magazine, Power Women Magazine & Radio show & numerous others.

Votes for Vixens up for Book of the Month on TBR Pile

I'd appreciate the votes. Hoping many of you have read it. <3 font="">

My light f/f historical novella about suffragettes in NYC warranted a 5-star rating on TBR Pile and is up for book of the month. See the poll to the right of their website.

What they had to say:
"Freaking fabulous! This time period isn’t used often and that’s such a shame. The author did a stunning job with the details and language. It really made me feel like I jumped back in time. Elizabeth was a very well written character. She was someone I wanted to see succeed in life."

You'll have to visit their site for the entire review.

Thanks for all the support! 

Tips from Tara: Don't Be A Twit!

I'm seeing lots of posts like this lately, and I just have to add my own two cents. 

I use social networking a lot, but lately, some things have been grating on my nerves. It seemed like a good post. I could go on and on about DOs, but I'm still learning them myself. But I def figured out a few DON'Ts just by watching. And most of my quibbles are about Twitter.

When someone follows you on Twitter, DO NOT immediately DM them and say, "Thank you for the follow. Please follow my blog and FB page too...*insert link*"

Rude much?

Don't be pushy. Let people get to know you at their own pace. You want to post a mass thing that says, "I have a new FB page. Would appreciate the follow," that's one thing. Directly messaging someone who doesn't know you yet... Just. Don't.

DO (I had one!) talk about something besides your book. Talk about a blog post that has nothing to do with your book. Share an article. I get tired of seeing the same book mentioned twenty times a day.

There is such a thing as OVER-promoing. I won't name names, but I'm so sick to death of seeing certain titles mentioned every 5 minutes on Twitter or FB, I swear to the goddess, I will never read a single one of them and they could be the greatest thing since Coca Cola...or chocolate.

DON'T correct people's spelling on Twitter. Someone was probably excited, strung to the breaking point, perhaps they had 5,000 things to do, and shoot, in their haste, they misspelled a word. Let it go. As long as their book is edited, let them tweet like normal people. Not everyone has a phD.

And now I'm going to talk about another site...

You wrote an erotic romance series... YAY! It got published. Good for you! You think it's hot and sexy. *throws confetti* You discovered Pinterest. Oh dear.

I'm just going to say this. While I'm not a prude, I DO NOT want to see people fornicating every single time I open my Pinterest account. Keep that in mind. We don't need photo after photo of your hero diddling your heroine...in the tub...on the rug...on the top of a car...

Post a bit and then take a break.

That's my advice for the day. Don't let the fact you're behind an avatar give you leave to be rude. 

Below is the slot for YOUR two cents. Let's hear what you have to say.

Can Authors Be Reviewers?

Today I have a question for my readers and my author friends.

This has been weighing on me for some time. I feel as though I've been walking a very fine line. Before I was a writer, I was and still am a reader, and I was voracious! Four books a week. For the last seven years I have posted my honest thoughts on Amazon, LibraryThing, Goodreads, and Blogger.

I don't want that to change. I LOVE reading. I LOVE posting my two cents about a book. I LOVE helping authors I feel have wrote a good book and I love sharing that book.

But occasionally, I read a book I don't enjoy so much. I post those too!

Here is my question/dilemma:

I don't do fake reviews. If I read a book in its entirety and I don't like it, I say so. Sometimes I'll realize in advance a book is not for me and I won't finish it. I normally just mark the book DNF then. Really, life is too short and there are too many other good books to read to waste my time.  But again, if I read it, I say what I thought.

I have even gone so far as to email friends of mine and say, "I don't like your book. Are you sure you want me to review this? At the moment, I think it's best that I don't finish, because if I finish, I'm not giving it a good review."

It's a tad awkward, sending this email, but I do it.

In the last seven years, I've earned a following on my honest book reviews.

But since I've become a writer, I've noticed a change in attitude. I feel as though both sides are watching me with hawk eyes.

The readers expect honest reviews, and I deliver that. BUT then there are those few that eye my less-than-glowing reviews and say, "Oh yeah? You think you could write this better?"

The curse of being writer and reviewer.

When is okay for an author to write a bad review? Is it always construed as something personal? Is it okay for a romance writer to not like another romance writer's book?

To not write honest reviews would lose the respect of my followers. To write honest reviews often earns me scorn from other authors.

Thoughts?