How to Keep Him on a Short Leash

Yes, it's a book.  I don't know who the authors are but it was published by Partners and Spade this year.  See.. my husband and I took today off of work (it's our anniversary) and browsed the downtown Park City shops before hitting a riduculously overpriced restaurant.  While I was looking at shoes and leather dresses and hand painted clutch purses in a store called Mary Jane's, my husband was (gasp!) looking at a book, this one and upon seeing the frown on his face at its contents, of course my interest was picqued and of course, I had to buy it. LOL

And now, we be bloggin'.  It's too funny not to share.  Granted, it's a book that you will have read in fifteen minutes, but the laughs last much longer than that.  It's 50 ways or things to do to keep your man on a short leash. 

According to the book, there are many similarities between men and dogs.  "Like dogs, men are wonderful and loving creatures who can make great lifelong companions.  But you've got to train them right or they're bound to be bad."

Here's some tips from the book:

- On the rare occasion that you've made a mistake, just plead the Fifth, storm off, and make it his fault that you're at fault.

- Encourage the creation of a man cave, a little subterranean castle - where he can luxuriate under the illusion that he's the master of domain.  Sink a few dollars into an ugly sofa, some shag carpeting, and a plasma TV, and you can hold him captive indefinitely.

- Ration lovemaking like bread during the Great Depression.  Like a doggie treat, it should come when he's learned to roll over and beg.

- Never let him forget how loving and caring your friends' husbands are.  Men are competitive so when he hears about the romantic trip to Antigua that Jessica's husband planned for her...

- Once he steps inside the house, make sure he knows you're the sheriff of this town.  If he tries getting up in your business - whether it's the decor, the paint color, or the type of furniture - punish him like a vagrant trespasser.

- Master the art of The Look.  (Ladies, I dont have to explain this one to you!)

Laugh out loud piece of advice:  "Let him know that you know that he knows that you know."

Funny book.  Wish I had some chicas and wine gathered around to laugh about it with me.  The husband doesn't find it that humorous and the dogs don't seem to care.  (No food words in it.)  My only complaint:  lots of advice about keeping your man from cheating or checking to see if he is cheating.  Seriously, if you are so paranoid you gotta check your husband's credit card statements, he may not be the man for you.