Men, Murder, and Margaritas by Bren Austin

Men, vibrator batteries, pasties, thongs, pole dancing, a sexy sheriff,sin, and psychotic female serial killers that kill unsuspecting rich bachelors are just some of the numerous hilarious topics that the three leading ladies of this novel discuss over their nightly margaritas.

Cari Paris is the blonde and no, she's not dumb. She's actually quite savvy as she slowly uncovers clues leading up to a woman scorned turned serial killer, dubbed the Carnation Killer because she always leaves that particular ugly flower by her victim's dead body.  "When a guy gives you carnations, it means he just wants to get laid and doesn't want to spend too much money to get you on your back." 


Her friends, Tracy and Kathi are assisting her. Tracy steals the show somewhat with her witty comments and brutal honesty about church, sex, food, and boobs. "If men were killed for stupidity, there wouldn't be too many left to choose from." (Can't remember which chick specifically said that, but I love it.)


Kathi is more in the background, but her character is crucial for laughs. She goes home every night and does sexual favors for her husband in order to get an inground pool and a couple of cabana boys installed in her backyard. (Seriously, you gotta read it to understand..)


And I've gotten way off track here. The case: An article talking about the state's most eligible and rich bachelors was published in a magazine. Cari and Tracy work for an advertising agency that is hosting an eligible bachelor auction. Problem is... one by one, their bachelors are winding up dead or married (apparently the men can save their lives by rushing to the altar). If they don't find the killer soon, they won't have any bachelors left to auction! But as the women get closer to figuring out who the killer is, those pesky blue carnations are left at their doors... are they next to die, despite the fact that they are the killer's usual choice of victim?


To make it all juicier, Cari and Tracy both end up dating two of the handsome bachelors! 


I thoroughly enjoyed this one. It was funny, witty, cute, and I laughed my butt off too many times to mention. Especially over the "tamponing a dead body" episode.


Five stars and I received this from the author in exchange for an honest review.