Sometimes I try the timeless technique of answering with a question of my own and I say, "Would you give a speech to an empty room?"
Would you?
Picture this. There's an entire auditorium in front of you filled wall-to-wall with chairs--they can be wooden, velvet covered, whatever--and all of them are EMPTY.
You've been writing this fabulous speech for months, dedicating hours everyday to it, fact-checking things, having friends read it, dreaming about it when you aren't typing away, and talking about it over dinner to anyone who will listen. You've rehearsed in front of mirrors, thought of everything, and you cannot wait to share it with the world.
And then that big day comes and you show up in your best suit, a smile on your face, ready to blow everyone away...and nobody shows up.
Nobody gives a rat's ass about your speech.
Do you stand there like a nimrod and give it anyway?
Why not just save your breath and also, your wrists from carpel tunnel, and invest your time in doing other things, things that may be better appreciated, and don't write the damn thing at all?
Take a walk, play with your dogs, go to dinner with your family, watch a movie that makes you laugh.
Anyway, I've found much better things to do than write books only three to ten people a year buy. Seriously.
And you may say, "Write because you love it!"
And I say, "But I don't love it!" Once that book is penned, there are publishers who will print it but make me pay full price for my own copies; there are 100 blogs I will have to email and plead for reviews from, 15 may say YES, 5 will actually read it; there's endless twitter and Facebooking and all that crap. No, I def don't love it. 'Cause sadly, writing doesn't stop with just writing. (And has anyone else noticed how FLOODED the market is??? Everyone and their eight-year-old is a writer now. I'm no longer proud to say, "I'm an author", not when Mookie Dookie, his daughter, and his dog are all authors too.
And then you say, "Just write for yourself."
And my answer is, "That's why I have a blog!" And do keep coming back here. The blog shall continue, if only to maintain my sanity. Plus I love writing book and movie reviews.
And you say, "You're a quitter!"
And I reply, "It's not quitting to walk away from something that makes you miserable. If you take a bite of a dish and it tastes like shit, do you keep eating it?"
And you say, "But you have to give it time."
To which I reply, "I penned my first book in 2010, was published in 2011, paid countless amounts of dollars on blog tours and ads and did not make my money back. At one point, I had 25 writings available to the public. Heck, out of 1,500 FB likers, 7 of them may buy a book. How much more time and dedication do you want?
I've blogged everyday. I've tweeted, fb'd, helped countless others. I'm tired. Leave me alone. I just want to read. And I am happier now."
However, this was not intended to be a sad post. On the contrary, I'm the happiest I've been in a while. I am starting a new job next week. I will once again be working on aircraft. The next time you look up and see an A350 in the sky, smile and think of me.
No, I will not be working for Swiss Airlines. This was merely the best shot of this particular aircraft on Wiki Commons. |
And that ends my speech.
P.S. You may notice many of my books have been taken off the market. Truth is, I'd rather have nothing available at all than see a big fat zero by each title month after month. I also got tired of your returns, darling piraters. As most of you were not willing to buy anything anyway, the books I took down are now available as free pdfs on my author website. Just have at it. Enjoy!
P.P.S. Do not leave me comments declaring I'm a great writer and shouldn't give up my dreams. A great writer would NOT have this problem, so just hush. We all know you're only telling me what you think I want to hear. A great writer...the writing would speak for itself. I wouldn't have to sit here all day long and FB, twitter, or make the book free to get people to read it. My last book release, released under another pen name, didn't even break Amazon rank, so thank you, but no thank you. I'd say readers have spoken. To those of you who did purchase my books, leave reviews, show support, thanks very much. I know who you are.
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