Fast forward fifteen years: you are married and have been trying to conceive for the past two years. You’ve tried treatment after treatment and nothing has worked. You regret walking in certain malls taking a glance at a baby store or a woman that’s glowing beautifully from her pregnancy, because you know this will send you into an instant depression and you couldn’t burden your husband yet again with another attack. You catch a glimpse in the mirror one day and ask yourself: Why do I keep doing this to myself, and to my body?
Every day you hear and read about these stories. About how women have been trying to conceive for two years, five years, ten years, and no one has even muttered the word adoption as a back-up choice or an option at all. Why is it that women turn to infertility and other drug treatments to become pregnant? Nine times out of ten, adoptions are nowhere in the plan and if it is, it’s quite far down the list. And even then if it makes the list of back-up plans it’s a foreign adoption or an adoption through a private agency. Very few people consider adopting from their local foster agency. With over sixty thousand children currently waiting to be adopted, I’m sure there is a match for everyone unable to have children the natural way and who wants to start a family.
When we are younger, we treat our body with the upmost respect. However, as the clock ticks closer and closer to forty, women begin to panic and poison their bodies with expensive drugs such as In Vitro or Clomiphene. So, what possesses women to do this and put the pressure on their bodies to have a family; especially when there are so many beautiful children in foster care? I mean seriously, has anyone read the side effects to these drugs: hot flashes, blurred vision, nausea, bloating, headaches, frequent bowel movements, multiple births. The list goes on and on. Fertility doctors give you drugs while taking data and experimenting to see the outcome. A woman’s body is no longer a temple, but rather a guinea pig for infertility treatments. Let me be realistic, I can see maybe doing this for a year just to weigh your options, but years and years of this cannot be healthy on the body or financially.
Okay, this may sound as if I’m being judgmental but I’m really not. I get it—I do: A family is what makes your life complete. Nothing is more pure than a woman carrying and giving birth to a child. It’s the natural order to “the American Family”. Every family has a different story and different way of achieving their goal of a “family”. Take me for instance: Some people will say that my husband and I have infertility issues because we have been married for six years and have no biological children. While that may be true, the fact remains that we have never tried to conceive, not once. When it comes to pregnancy I believe in the natural order. It happens when it happens. However, there is nothing wrong with planning and speaking about timing. When the hubs and I did start speaking about it, God blessed us with a beautiful baby boy from another mother. Our baby talk went out the window. Three years later, when the subject came up again, God blessed us with a beautiful girl, from another mother.
In the future, would I want another child “biologically,” if you have to label it? Of course I do, but only because I want more children. If God chooses to grant us with me becoming pregnant or bless us with another child from someone else, so be it. Who knows what is in store for us in regard to biological children. Maybe God has decided that I won’t be able to conceive and he will continue to grant me with angels from somewhere else, because for me adoption is always an option. In our home we believe the bond a child has with his mother and father is much thicker than blood and purer than water.
Note: Ladies, if you are experiencing infertility issues and never considered adoption, inquire into it. I will never say this is the best route to go, because only you and your family can decide that, but make it an option.
On the same night that twenty four-year-old Jordyn Sims has a miscarriage, her sister-in-law Tori Sims conceives a child. Nine months later, Tori, a long term heroin addict, abandons her two-hour-old drug addicted newborn Jeremiah, in a hospital stairwell. Jordyn receives the news and pursues foster adoption. However, Oscar, Tori's possessive drug-addicted boyfriend, is not about to give Jeremiah up so easily. While in confrontation with Tori and Oscar, Jordyn seeks help from the Administration of Children Services (ACS), only to discover she is faced with a maze of departments, regulations, legalities and overworked social workers. Jordyn, however, remains strong and continues to push through the uphill battle, even after she discovers she's pregnant.
With all odds against her adoption of Jeremiah, and her pregnancy at high risk from increasing stress, will Jordyn win this tough battle, or will her world crumble before her?
Missy B. Salick is a new author who has written her first novel, Claiming Jeremiah. Her fictional memoir on foster adoption is drawing a hefty buzz, with an online release date not until April 7, 2013 ( May 4 in paperback). The novel is small in size, but contains a powerful message. "Children in foster care need a place to call home." Salick, a foster care advocate, wrote this book based on her personal journey of foster adopting her four-year-old son.
Before self-publishing, Claiming Jeremiah, Salick spent several years as a freelance business writer for Fortune 500 companies such as: Shearman & Sterling, KPMG, Deloitte and many more. She also had a stint with song ghost writing. Salick's experience in the entertainment industry stems from working with entertainment companies and media including Violator, MBK, Village Voice and more. As the founder of J.J. Autumn Publishing, her publishing company is geared towards highlighting urban fiction dedicated to special causes and community awareness projects.
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