In my editing career, I've edited some books I found distasteful...namely...forced seduction.Call me old-fashioned, but I believe no means no. I don't care if she's enjoying and in the throes of ecstasy two minutes later, no means no.
The BDSM craze has made forced seduction "okay" in many publishers' books.
"Oh, he's just an alpha male."
To me, an alpha male is a man who takes charge, argues, probably feels the need to prove his masculinity every 5 sentences (You can tell I don't like the traditional alpha. LOL), and often needles and teases the heroine.
An asshole is that man who stalks a woman, terrorizes her, makes her live to please him, and doesn't respect the word no. When the heroine says, "I don't like doing it this way", he just does it anyway.
I spotted a review (No, I did not read the book) on Amazon that made me really think hard on this. It was a one-star review for some erotic book and the reviewer said "Honestly, ask yourself as a woman, would you really relish being raped by the next service guy (regardless of his "Alpha Male" persona), who visits your house? (Alpha Male, seems to be a term now used to excuse rapists.)"
I actually agree with her. Are authors taking the "alpha" to extremes and making their heroes assholes instead? *Not ALL authors are doing this, but let's take a good look at the erotica industry for a moment.*
When does alpha become asshole? Where's that fine line? Where do YOU draw the line?
I read a lot of books like this (as you know) and I do enjoy reading about the dominant male, but I draw the line at stories where the woman does actually say no. As you said, no means no. I wouldn't like to read any books like that, rape is an extremely awful thing.
ReplyDeleteBut, I like the stories I have read about BDSM :)
Since you brought it up, your love of bdsm, may I ask an honest question? I truly don't get it...why do modern-day women like men to dominate them? When I think of being dominated, I want to puke. Men have held women back for centuries. Lesser pay, the right to vote, the right to divorce...the list is endless. There are so many things we fought to get from men, things that should have been rightfully ours all along, so why are women now so eager to have men rule them? Seriously. Have we forgotten history or do we no longer care? It feels like a craze..."I must be dominated by a man! It's so hawt!"
DeleteThe only thing that appeals to me in BDSM is the intimate scenes. Its kinda like a secret thrill giving your pleasure over to a man.
DeleteThat being said - I don't like when the man is pushy. Doesn't allow the woman to have a real life etc.
But I also don't like hardcore BDSM stories. It's too much for me. Something more soft I can handle.
Tara I don't know why I enjoy reading it, It's not for me in real life, but in my books I like it. But as Lacey said too, no pushy men etc.
DeleteI've recently enjoyed a BDSM book where the dominant was the woman, again I enjoyed that one too.
OOOHHHH. Tell me more. What was the name of it? Now dom females I enjoy.
DeleteLacey, very true.
DeleteI spent a third of my life arguing with men and constantly fighting to get respect in a male-dominated field, so I don't have a high opinion. Perhaps if more women had had that experience...LOL
ReplyDeleteI agree with you.
ReplyDeleteWhy BDSM is so popular is beyond me. I do not like force of any kind even in play so to speak. When it comes to the relations ship between two people it should not be done with force or fear.
ReplyDelete