Sunday, July 31, 2011

Shut Up & Dance! by Jamie Rose

Shut Up and Dance!: The Joy of Letting Go of the Lead—On the Dance Floor and OffThe Joy of Letting Go of the Lead - On the Dance Floor and Off.... Yep, that's the "subtitle" of this book. And something the modern day woman needs a bit of guidance with...

This book tells us, basically, that the modern day woman has become so adamant about being independent and strong and not dependent on men that we have become anti man and that we no longer LISTEN to them at all. And sometimes, well, we need to let men be men.

The book does not tell us women to be simpering ninnies that follow our men everywhere, however. First of all, the man has to EARN the right to lead. You don't let your man lead you right off a cliff.. The book doesn't tell us to suddenly become complete followers either, but does make an interesting point: If you start leading (controlling) every aspect of your relationship in the beginning, you will most likely always be the one in control and I don't care who you are, that gets old and there comes a point in the relationship where you go, "why am I doing all the work? Why doesn't he do anything here?" The answer this book pointed out to me: "You never let him!"

That was an eye opening moment for me, right there. Basically, women today can maintain their independence and all,  just every now and then, let your man have a say, LISTEN to what he says (that was a huge part of the book).

Really, if you don't trust your man enough to "follow" his lead, you probably shouldn't be with him. (That's my own words.)

Key points the book makes: LISTEN to your man. Make him EARN the right to lead. You must LOVE yourself before you even know what you want in a man and a man will love you. Relinquish CONTROL every now and then. It's gotta be a two way street.

Favorite quote: "When I am actively listening, when I make it my business to simply follow my partner's lead, I am empowering him. I am giving my leader the gift of respect and attention. I'm doing him the favor of not behaving like I'm his teacher, or worse, his mother. If a guy wants me to spin myself around doing fancy moves so he looks good on the dance floor when his lead hasn't earned it, he is in effect asking me to dance alone. And then, why do I need him?"

Four stars because some of the exercises didn't interest me much (I am so not dancing with a shopping cart!) and there were some stories towards the end I didn't see the point of, but I found this book to be a real eye opener and I see what I am doing wrong in my own relationship.

I received an ARC of this from the publisher.

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