If The Oceans Were Ink: The American Woman Journalist and the Islamic Scholar

American journalist Carla Power has had an ongoing friendship with Mohammed Akram Nadwi, an Islamic scholar who teaches in the Islamic Studies program at Oxford University.  Power calls him Akram since Nadwi is the name of the school where he studied Islamic law.  She is a secularist whose parents also didn't practice the religions in which they had been brought up.   I wanted to find out about why Carla Power wanted to explore Islam when she wasn't religiously oriented.  

                                             

                                         

 After having read the memoir she’s written about her friendship with Akram and her study of the Koran with him, I think that Power wants to be reassured about Islam.  

Akram preaches against involvement in politics.  He also respects women.  He said to Power that women’s scholarship is purer than men’s because they aren’t paid for it.  Their only motivation is spiritual.   This is why he was motivated to write The Women Scholars of Islam which is a forty volume study.  Only the introduction has been published.  His publishers are seeking funding for the remaining thirty nine volumes.  I wanted to know more about these women, but only a few of them are even mentioned in this book which is disappointing. 

Power only writes intermittently about her discussion of the Koran with Akram.  I was intrigued as always by the Bible stories in the Koran.  Akram tells his students that you must be familiar with the Bible to read the Koran.  Actually, if you are familiar with the Bible and its historical context, you are likely to find the Koran’s versions of Biblical personages really strange. I consider this an experience in cognitive dissonance. 

Let me give one example.  Akram spoke at a mosque in England about what the Koran has to say about the Virgin Mary who is called Maryam in Islam.  He said that she was called to serve at the Jewish Temple.  He implies that she was a priestess of some sort.  From a woman’s spirituality perspective, this is a lovely story.  From a historical perspective, it couldn’t have happened.   It isn’t just a matter of women’s status in Biblical times, or the fact that Mary didn’t belong to a priestly family.  Jews had prophetesses, but no priestesses.  The reason is that priestesses are associated with Pagan religions.   Jews wanted to avoid any similarity to the practices of Pagans.  When you add in the element that Mary became pregnant out of wedlock, then you have a reminder of the Sacred Prostitutes of Astarte.  Islam has also tried to avoid any practices similar to the pre-Islamic religions of Arabia.  So they should understand why Jews might consider this idea that Mary was a priestess in the Jewish Temple rather offensive.   Akram said that the Koran wanted to honor Mary.  Perhaps the intention was to show that her virginity was protected in a sacred place, so it couldn’t be that Mary became pregnant as a result of sex.  Neither the Koran’s version nor the New Testament version of the story of Mary could be considered sex positive, but I would love to see a variorum edition which shows each Bible story and its Koran equivalent side by side. 

Power is also a friend of Akram’s family and devotes a great deal of space to his daughter Sumaiya.  As an indicator that Sumaiya made her own decisions, Power tells us that Sumaiya went against her father’s opposition to dying her hair.  She consulted another Muslim scholar who gave her a fatwa (which means an opinion on Islamic law) that hair dying is permissible, and she proceeded to dye her hair.  This also shows that Islamic scholars aren’t united in their interpretations.

There is a bibliography at the end of this book which includes the first volume of Akram’s study on Islamic woman scholars which I would like to read as well as such books as Progressive Muslims: On Justice, Gender and Pluralism edited by Omid Safi and Inside The Gender Jihad by feminist Amina Wadud.  

 Unfortunately, If The Oceans Were Ink is not as interesting or insightful as I had hoped.  My feeling is that a secularist like Power, without any religious background, probably won’t ever have an in-depth understanding of Islam.

                                               

                                            

Talking Back: The Battle to be Listened to . . . Properly, A Guest Post from Donna McDonald

Please welcome Australian author and fellow deaf woman, Donna McDonald. I must say in advance, this is a powerful and very true guest post. I've had these frustrated thoughts myself, but she puts it into better words. Feel free to leave comments. I'm pleased to share details of her latest book, The Art of Being Deaf, below.

Recently, I went to see a movie with a new Date. We’d had dinner together the previous week and he understood that I am deaf.  The movie was great (as befits its title “The Great Beauty”) . . . the date not so much.

I am fifty-nine years old. I was born deaf and belong to the 1950s generation of “oral deaf” children. This means that although I am deaf (“moderate-severe, sloping to profound” according to my most recent audiology assessment), I have sufficient residual hearing that allows me to speak rather well. Not perfectly, but not bad: the missed sibilants and the occasional monotonous tone in my speech patterns reveal my deafness. I work hard to keep my speech patterns rhythmically inflected.

Image courtesy of Ambro/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I also work hard to listen, read people’s lips, stay focused on their faces and body language, and follow the flight of their words. I do all this listening and attending work because I want to be connected to what they are saying. Connection begets connection; it is the origin of understanding others, which in turn evolves into empathy, compassion, and a reciprocal sharing of our humanity.

Which brings me back to my Date. He mumbled. Not once; not twice; but thrice. Three times I asked him to speak more clearly; three times he denied my request and continued to channel Marlon Brando’s performance as “The Godfather” as if he owned that role. Remember: we’d already had that dinner the week before. I’d already exhausted myself over a glass of wine (just the one glass; I was trying to do “Dry February”) by peering at his clenched lips and trying to find meaning in his stiff, expressionless face.

It was late; I was tired; I spat the dummy. In the foyer of the cinema. In public, and in full hearing view of all and sundry. “Look”, I cried out, “if we are going to get along, you really must speak up and speak clearly. Why can’t you do this one simple thing for me?” The Date looked stunned. He mumbled, “I’m sorry.” And then (you’re going to love this!), he said, “I don’t know much about deaf people. I don’t know how to talk to them.” I snapped back, “I am not going to do Deaf Studies 101 for you now. Just speak clearly. That’s all.”

We’ll draw a veil over the next couple of hours. Suffice to say, there will be no third outing. However, my anger and frustration with the Date is not the point of my story. Stay with me.

A couple of nights later, I recounted my story to a life-long and close friend. We have known each other since we were teenagers, and we have shared much with each other. The good, bad and ugly.  My friend is kind and wise; I anticipated that she would sympathise with me. I thought she might say something like, “What a boorish man!” Actually, I would have settled for a simple “oh dear” sigh of empathy.

Instead, what I got was a reminder of how the hearing world persistently walks out of step with me. And I am deliberate in my syntax here.

I have spent the better part of my 59 years learning how to walk in step with the hearing world; how to speak clearly, avoid being too expressive, keep my hands still, don’t look wounded when others laugh because I’ve misunderstood what they have said, remain stoic in the face of others’ criticism when I ask them to repeat what they’ve just said—“Oh for God’s sake, I’m not going to say it again. Why can’t you just listen properly? It doesn’t matter anyway; it wasn’t that important.” (Why say it in the first place then? Why indulge in drivel?)

And yet, when I voiced a complaint to my friend, her first and immediate response was to say “Don’t be offended, but you need to see the situation from his point of view.”

Really? From his point of view? What happened to the authority and legitimacy of my point of view? If I was a Jew complaining to my friend about anti-Semitic behavior, would my friend have admonished me, “You need to see it from the Gentile’s point of view”. Or if I were an Aboriginal Australian complaining about being excluded from a job opportunity, would my friend have said “You need to see it from the white employer’s point of view.” Or what about if I was a young woman who had been raped by her uncle? Would my friend have clucked at me and said “Oh, but you need to understand your uncle’s needs.” Of course not.

So why is my perspective as a deaf woman, holding my own in a dominant (and dominating) hearing world of so little value? First with the obtuse Date, and second with my life long friend. Where is their effort to connect with me in these exchanges? To walk in my shoes? Because let me tell you, I am damned footsore from walking in the shoes of hearing people.

I don’t know the answer. Do you?

CREDITS: Published as “Footsore on Valentine’s Day” at:

http://socialworksocialwork.com/2014/02/14/footsore-on-valentines-day/

Blurb:

We all take our sense of connectedness from where we can best find it. For some deaf people, it is within their own Deaf community. For others such as Donna McDonald—those oral-deaf people, in the “shadow-lands”, scattered across the hearing world—such a sense of connectedness can be buried or lost.

In writing her memoir of deafness and being deaf, Donna McDonald found that learning about the heritage of other deaf people’s memoirs, biographies, and life narratives was enormously helpful to her. She writes “the hand of mentoring reached down to me across the span of history”.

Donna’s memoir “The Art of Being Deaf” is, however, much more than a personal examination of her life as a deaf woman. It is a story of reconciliation, the search for romantic love, and the quest for answers about what it means to live an authentic life.

***

Dr Donna McDonald is Senior Lecturer and convenor of policy and disability studies in the School of Human Services and Social Work at Griffith University. Over a span of 30 years Donna has been at the forefront of developing social policy as a social worker and has established extensive policy networks in Australia and England. She has provided policy advice to Federal, State and Local Governments nationally and internationally.  She is also a published writer with two books, several book chapters, journal articles and essays. Her publications include her memoir of grief following her infant son’s sudden death in 1987 "Jack's Story", and essays such as "I Hear with my Eyes" (Griffith Review 2006), "The Reluctant Memoirist" (Griffith Review 2011) and "When Time Stops: The Courage for Joy" (Stories of Complicated Grief: a critical anthology 2014).  Her latest book is The Art of Being Deaf: a memoir (Gallaudet University Press: Washington DC. March 2014).

Confessions of a Hostie: True Stories of an International Flight Attendant by Danielle Hugh

I liked some of this and didn't like some of it. It's about 50/50. The first half made me laugh or chuckle and was told in a witty manner. I appreciated some of the irritating passenger stories and learning a flight attendant's schedule and how easy it is to get sick and all that, but really, I'm disappointed to say, not much of it really takes place on the plane/s.

She goes on and on about shopping. I got so sick and tired of hearing about her shopping. To be honest, she came across as a snot, especially when she said stuff like this, "I've been to so many lavish and properly organised weddings that had a 50-50 meal choice and missed out on my choice. Yet, these people, with a ticket that costs less than what I paid for my last pair of shoes (Lady, just WTF kind of shoes are you buying? I can pay up to 600 bucks or more when I fly. Middle-class people don't find that cheap.), feel they have been personally victimized if we cannot offer them the beef choice."

I'd like to say that without those "cheap" passengers, you wouldn't have a job or a paycheck. 

She began to come across as rude, stuck-up, and patronizing, as though she looks down on those of us who cannot afford Manolo Blanicks, or whatever they are.

Then it was sex with a pilot and how horrible a dresser he is and how cheap, yet she calls him anyway?

I'd have preferred she stuck to airplane mishaps, passenger incidents, and kept her shopping and sex life to herself. And her clothes--it was like she constantly wanted to rub in what brands of clothing she was wearing. On and on about boots and D&G... I guess you could say this memoir came across as bragging.

I question some of this though. Having worked in the commercial airline industry, I'm familiar with the pay scale. Ten years ago, a brand-new pilot was fortunate to make 15 to 20k a year. Flight attendants can't do much better. Yet she acts as though they are rolling in dough. Um.... I'm confused.

Then she begins to go on and on about a married flight attendant she has a crush on. It felt like chapters were dedicated to this guy when all I wanted to do was get back to the in-flight dramatics. I almost abandoned ship at this point. But then it went to the flight to Hawaii and got interesting again. I had to laugh out loud at some of the things Damien said to passengers.

S0 some of it was good; some of it not so good. I don't consider it a total waste of time. I really enjoyed some parts, but really disliked others. I don't think I'll read book two because of this. 

I think Heather Poole's Cruising Attitude was a better telling of a flight attendant's life. It stuck more to the point.

My favorite part and LOL moment is about "crop dusting".

'You know, when you are out in the cabin and need to fart. Not by choice, but out of necessity. Well, if you let it all out in one go, that could be a problem. So what you do is crop-dusting, you know, just little quiet ones sprayed over a big area. That way even if they smell, the passengers don't know where it has come from and you are long gone by the time they can blame you for it.'

I received this via Netgalley.

Spotlight: Searching for Normal by Alison Neuman

Searching for Normal is a book about following in the great tradition of creative nonfiction. Detailing her personal experience from the onset of a rare and painful illness at the age of three, Alison Neuman recounts her personal journey coming to terms with an ever-shifting conception of 'normality'. The disease having shaped her life in ways most could never imagine, a carefree childhood quickly morphed into a blur of ongoing hospitalizations, increasingly reduced mobility, and overwhelming fatigue and pain.

But amidst her constant battles with her health, Alison emerged as a champion. Searching for Normal will leave readers awed by Alison's perseverance and strength of character. Her story serves as a pertinent reminder that 'normal', is in the eye of the beholder.

Barnes & Noble

Paperback

Meet the author:

Alison Neuman lives in Alberta, Canada, where she works as a freelance writer. Nearing the end of her studies at Grant MacEwan College, she was inspired to complete the first draft of Ice Rose: A Young Adult Spy Novel. The YA novel integrates her love for gadgetry with the broad imaginative license afforded by the secret agent genre, and features a female protagonist in a wheelchair. It was published in 2010 by Fireside Publications.

Alison’s work has appeared in MacEwan Today, Westword, and the Edmonton Journal as well as on three tracks of the CD release, Outside The Window, and as a credit on the script for Cheryl Kaye Tardif's screenplay adaptation of Whale Song. She was also an "Edmonton Stories' top-ten finalist, a winner in the "Expressions of Hunger" in the Emotional Poetry Category (2009), and a nominee for the Northlands Award for Emerging Artist (2012), Lieutenant Governor of Alberta Emerging Artist Award, and Avenue’s "Top 40 Under 40."

Alison was also honoured in 2011 for her human rights work in advocating for the rights of the disabled. One of her greatest achievements is an integrative camp she started for children from all walks of life—both with and without disabilities. Camp Mission Access uses a secret agent theme and activities as children of all abilities complete mission activities. Since 2010, she has been a member of iDANCE Edmonton, performing regularly. A musical version of Searching for Normal, will debut at the Edmonton International Fringe Festival in August 2013.
Alison is currently working towards her Master of Arts at Athabasca University and, when time permits, completing her next YA novel.

Follow Alison:

https://twitter.com/crossingts
http://ca.linkedin.com/pub/alison-neuman/14/427/b77
https://www.facebook.com/alison.neuman.14

Follow the Book Tour

The Female Veteran by Ty Will

First I want to applaud Ms. Will for having put this data out there. It's very revealing. It takes a lot of guts to put something so personal out there for the world. I understand she's done it to help other women who may be suffering from MST, Military Sexual Trauma.

PTSD is not just for combat veterans.

The book shows us the ongoing frustrations a female veteran goes through for YEARS after the trauma; her inability to talk about it, her struggle between wanting help and throwing it away by refusing to discuss the issue, her discomfort with men, her constant job losses. It all goes back to one--I should say series of, actually--bad situation(s) she experienced in the military.

I'm reminded of a graphic I saw on FB one day. It said this:

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything." It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

This book is a prime example of holding that glass of water for way too long. 

It takes her years to get past what happened to her, years of being put through the wringer by the VA. She's passed from psychologist to psychologist, doctor to doctor, put through the wrong treatment. She has MST, not combat PTSD or drinking/drugs problem.

You can tell because the book contains...actually IS, all her psychologists' notes and reports. 

Therein lies the trouble with this book. Because the book is mostly those notes, it becomes a tad repetitive. She goes doctor to doctor and each doctor asks the same questions and writes the same data in their reports. Probably not the best way to put together a book, BUT if it becomes tedious for the reader, imagine how it was for her.

Each report is punctuated, however, with an angry or sometimes funny comment from the author, showing us her reaction to these doctors and the story behind her actions. SOMETIMES it felt as though she were making excuses for herself. Other times, I LOL'd.

"I don't particularly like this doctor; he is quite the character. When you sit at his desk to talk with him, his desk is full of water bottles and all sorts of cups too. Some bottles are full of soda pop, some are full of coffee, others are full of juice, and then there are some half full. This is very distracting--I mean there are at least twenty to thirty water bottles. Personally, I think this guy needs help more than me, and that's saying a lot!"

The next dr reports says that "She also made a rude comment about the amount of drinking glasses on my desk."

Technically, this story isn't funny. What she went through at the swimming pool and later in an apt, is NOT funny, but I appreciate how the author made me laugh anyway.

Had the story been told in a different manner, I would like it more. I just don't think the psychologists'-reports method was the way to go. Obviously the author has a good voice and I'm curious as to how the book would have been had she chosen to narrate her story.

On that note, however, if you are a woman veteran who has suffered MTS, be sure you get the CORRECT help. Talk to your care providers about seeking the appropriate venue of therapy. I can tell from this book, that if you don't know what you are getting into, you'll just be pumped full of drugs, shuffled doctor to doctor, and not receive the right therapy you need.

I received this from the author in exchange for an honest review.

Good News!!!!

I'm pleased to announce that the lovely D.F. Krieger and I won best book award on LASR Erotic. I'd like to just take a moment to share this with you, readers.

The book is also up for Book of the Month Award. Follow this link to cast your much appreciated vote!

And if you'd like to read the review in question: Check it out!

Here's just a taste of it... "The plot development in this story was spot on. It was not predictable and each chapter was separated by character, so no issues of head hopping arose. The sex scenes were scorching and left me wanting this book to last for way more than fifty seven pages. The thing I enjoyed the most was the acerbic wit and the all-out real reactions from the characters. This was a one sit read that actually had me going right back to the beginning to start reading it again, I loved it so much. Authors Hightower and Kreiger have done an outstanding job of creating a character dynamic with a flair that really stood out as one of the best books I have read lately. "

And that is not my only good news... I won second place in a cover art contest!!!!!! Much thanks to Staci Perkins for designing my memoir art. So happy to be able to share this and much thanks to all who voted!

Out of the Blue by Victor Cruz & Peter Schrager

Victor Cruz did not just come from nowhere. He didn't just appear out of the blue. He came from what some would dub a broken home, streets rife with crime, and a little boy with big dreams became a legend. It wasn't an overnight thing. It came with struggles and stress attached. As Victor says at the end of this book, "You can't wait for your chance. You can't expect it. You have to earn it." Wise words. I think I'll post them somewhere I can see them and remind myself of this when I get frustrated over my writing career.

I learned a lot as I read this. Football players, the pros anyway, are not dumb jocks. They have to make good SAT scores to get into those colleges where recruiters find them. And after reading about the lockout, the financial stuff they go through, the injuries, the stress, the whole drafting process, I have a newfound respect for football players in general.
Cruz grew up in Paterson, NJ and turned to sports to stay off the streets and out of trouble. He was raised by a single mom and his abuela and papi. His dad was a firefighter who wasn't a part of his life till Cruz turned seven. He introduced his son to football. Cruz had a series of hard knocks: gangs beating on him and his friends, shootings, illness in the family, his father dying, bad grades, and just frustration when the NFL kept passing him by. Nothing was handed to this guy.

I absolutely loved how Cruz managed to talk about all his accomplishments without being arrogant. He even credits numerous other players for helping him, teaching him, praises Eli Manning. He talks about other football players' unique stories, not just himself. And when it got to the 2011 football season, I already knew the scores, had watched the games, but Cruz's POV showed me what was going on behind the scenes.

I appreciate Cruz writing this book, taking the time to tell his story. He gives the rest of us, whether you're from Paterson, NJ, or Tulsa, Oklahoma, a feeling of hope. Reading his story, reading about his persistence in the face of adversity, makes me want to overcome it in my own life. He did it. He made it. He dreamed big and accomplished it.

Five bikes. This book was a gift from my mother.

Cruising Attitude by Heather Poole

What a great book!! Though it's a memoir, it's well done. The narrator SHOWS us and transports the reader into the airplane, crashpad, terminal, bar. There's no telling here. I was thoroughly entertained and I was laughing so hard during much of it that my husband demanded to know what was so funny, and I had to read passages aloud to him.


Just some of the content: her early days as a flight attendant with an airline that actually used duct tape on the seats, flight attendant training, skirt lengths and what they symbolize, why you shouldn't date pilots, her own dating experiences with pilots, flying standby (been there!!!), flight attendant breakdowns, problem passengers, finding a place to live in NYC, the horrors of flying the Miami/New York or the Vail flight full of fur coats, and last but not least, working and living with her mother. 


Really loved this. It was honest, entertaining, and told in a humorous manner. 


Laugh out loud moments for me:


"I could have kissed each and every one of my instructors at that very moment, calling to mind a psychological response known as Stockholme syndrome. Stockholme syndrome happens when abducted hostages (flight attendant trainees), begin to show signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker (flight instructors) regardless of the danger, risk, or torture in which they have been placed.....This is the only possible explanation for why I actually thanked my instructors when we learned that the navy blue polyester getup, all $2000 of it, would be deducted from our first couple of paychecks."


And when she works with her mom who also becomes a flight attendant and hollers out "mom" in the middle of business class when she needs her mom to hand her a bottle of wine.. Nice!!! LOL


And this bit here: "Bob, the stylish pilot, actually saves his standby passes for people he hates. Then he can gleefully relish when they get stranded in Senegal for ten days..."


Too many great and funny moments to list. Nevertheless, a well written and humorous memoir. I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever contemplated being a flight attendant. I wonder how many of you can figure out who the celebrities are she talks about but doesn't name?


Five stars. 

Hospice Tails: The Animal Companions Who Journey With Hospice Patients And Their Families by Debra Stang

This is, so far, the most touching book I have read in some time. I had to dab my eyes on numerous occasions. It's a short read at 100 some pages, but it is loaded with touching stories and moments... It contains enough in those 100 pages to touch your very soul, especially the souls of pet lovers/pet parents.

Like dogs? Cats? Horses? Snakes? There's something for everyone.

There's the man who is afraid to go to sleep for fear he will miss the last dying breath of his loved one. Finally, in the throes of exhaustion, he falls asleep. His little dog wakes him just in time...

There's the woman who reaches out to touch the spot her dog (now dead) had always lied and says, "There you are" before she dies herself.

There's a snake that gives comfort, a cat that helps a woman move past her husband's death, a hamster that brings together a mother and son. And though each one of these stories is sad because someone dies, they are also moments of joy caught in a book forever.

Our pets do so much for us and understand so much more than we give them credit for. This book is a tribute to that. Wonderful. Five stars.

Also, unlike a lot of memoirs that tell and not show, Ms. Stang had a very engaging voice that transported me into the story. A huge thumbs up.

I received this in ebook format from the author in exchange for an honest review.

Fear of Landing: You Fly Like A Woman by Sylvia Spruck Wrigley

I was excited about this book, another read to add to my growing list of "women in aviation" books. It was good though not quite what was I expecting. 


It's a memoir so it's a lot of telling rather than showing. "Showing" a memoir is hard, I know. And for some reason, I thought it was chronicling many episodes of flying, but it just tells about this woman learning to fly in Spain. What starts out as a whim and a way to keep the month long flight school cheaper for everyone in involved becomes a serious accomplishment even if it takes her two weeks longer than the rest of the class. Also, it's not as humorous as I was expecting. The cover had me thinking I would laugh a lot...it's a cute cover though.


Like I said, lots of telling, little showing, and it got a bit technical at times, but if you're looking for a short, contemporary read about a woman learning to fly, it's free on kindle today. (I bought mine when it was 99 cents.)


My favorite scene was the dog and the little girl running across the runway. My heartbeat picked up as I read that bit. Scary! 

Hear Through My Ears Cover Art

I have been chattering about this book for ages.. a year now? But there was one setback after another.. and eleven months into the year, I finally have something to show for it. Here is the cover to Hear Through My Ears, my memoir coming out any day now on kindle. As soon as I have a publication date, I will shout it from the rooftops.

Special thanks to Staci Perkins at Author Creations for putting this together for me. You can find her at: Author Creations FB Page.