Be Your Own Hero

Growing up, I remember all the cartoons of princesses sitting there looking beautiful but miserable...and they never found happiness until a rich and handsome prince rescued them from whatever was ailing their lives.


I don't write love stories like that. My heroines always meet their prince (or princess) but they aren't sitting there waiting to be rescued.

Take Kimberly for example. She's got the handsome Carlos helping her, but in the end, she really rescues herself by coming to terms with who she is now, hearing loss and all.

There's no contest what song I choose for this book and as you read it, I'd love for you to keep the lyrics in mind and remember...

There's a hero

If you look inside your heart

You don't have to be afraid

Of what you are

There's an answer

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know

Will melt away...

So even if, or when, a hero comes along, save yourself by looking deep within you. The hero is right there. As the song says, YOU can survive. If you look around you, you will see survivors everywhere. You may not even know their stories. Like Kimberly, they may have hidden disabilities.

Try to take a moment everyday to remind yourself of this.

Thumbs up to Mariah Carey for her song, Hero. *I posted part of the lyrics because some of my followers are deaf/hard of hearing and the video is not cc'd. I have no intention of stepping on anyone's copyright. 

A Healing Love can be purchased on Amazon.

A Day in the Life of an Author...

This is just a moment of complete and total honesty. It will probably offend some...but the truth, hey, someone has to say it.

I keep getting these sad, heart-wrenching emails... "I have a lot of vet bills. My dog was sick. I have no money left after making my car payment. School is expensive..."

Always at the end is a request for one of my books. "I can't afford them."

I'm not without sympathy. But it's important to remember my dogs get sick too. I also eat and drink. Thankfully, my vehicle is paid off. I paid it off before I decided to be a stay-at-home writer and editor...and thank the Goddess for that, because, tell me, what kind of car could I maintain and pay for off this?

Dear Broke Reader, Your email the other day regarding your car payment and your financial difficulties broke my heart. Please, cash these author royalties I just received and put it towards your next car payment. Apparently, I don't need it. Best wishes, Tara.

Don't answer that..I know it's HOT WHEELS. LOL

I'm not mad by how little I make, though I do make jokes about it at times. (see above caption on photo. *snicker*) As my friend Rosa said, I should be proud of every cent I make and I am. But it's important to remember, you aren't the only one the economy or just life in general affects.

I love reviewers and if someone has a really awesome blog and wants to write me a review, I'm all for handing over books. But the folks just looking for free stuff...I have something to tell you and I don't make this up.

Authors sign contracts. Those contracts state just how few copies we're allowed to give away of our books (this is not about Kindle Freebies). Almost every contract states, "Author can give away only __ copies of work for promotional purposes." The exception to that rule is when we are seeking reviews.

Since I've already revealed the big secret about how much money I make, let me take this opp to distill a few myths.

Myth: Authors have unlimited copies of their books just laying around.
Truth: I have to pay almost full price for my own paperbacks. Though publishers may give a discount, I merely end up paying that discount right back in shipping fees. I may as well just buy them on Amazon--like you--and get free shipping. Thus, I do not have copies of my books laying around...at all.

Myth: Authors receive huge 6k advance payments.
Truth: If you don't see a Big 6 label as the publisher, this is so far from the truth, it's a comical assumption.

That being said, how do ya'll like my ride?

By
zirconicusso/ freedigitalphotos.net

When Our Books Become Outdated...

I write my share of contemporary romances or just plain ole contemporary stories, all genres. And lately, I've grown to wonder, what will I do when my title becomes outdated?

Think about this: 

In Love Request, the hero and heroine hook up via Facebook. I've already had to modify this book once to accommodate the new Timelines. Facebook changes its stuff every two weeks though. I can't modify the book every time they change something. So...week by week, my book is becoming outdated.

In a book I recently edited, the heroine had a flip-top phone. Does anyone still make those?

In A Healing Love, when I first penned it, I was told Cindy Crawford was awful old. Could I refer to a more modern model? So I replaced her with Megan Fox...but twenty years from now, will anyone know how that is?

My point: contemporary stories are only contemporary now. With technology constantly changing, with cell phones that eventually will probably even wipe our arses for us, our contemporary books will one day be picked up by a curious reader who just may think it's historical!

"Oh, how quaint! These people are still using toilet paper! Doesn't she know there's an APP for that?" 

Do we then change the genre? Twenty years from now when the world is like Back To The Future with flying cars and skateboards, will we need to change the genre of our now-contemporary titles or revise them to get with the times? I guess Carlos would have to have a flying Harley, Maria would wash the car using a car wash app, Ciara probably won't even be hard of hearing; stem cell research would have taken off.

But what if we're dead and can't revise anyway? Seems changing the genre would be easier. After all, if someone in 2030 releases a book containing a plot that occurs in 1990, it will be labeled historical fiction then, making ours technically historical fiction too!

That concludes my thoughts of the day.

I Am Who I Was Born As

June is the month of weddings and all these weddings got me to thinking about wedding-related traditions and why they were started...and heck, upon learning the reason for some of these traditions, I began to question why we still do them. 

Why do women take the man's name upon marrying him?

Online research reveals many different reasons, the main one being:

In biblical times, a woman was considered a burden on her father. He was eager to get rid of that extra mouth to feed. He provided a dowry, perhaps a couple of sheep along with some gold coin--and when a suitor agreed to take the daughter off his hands, he was rewarded. Eager to get the daughter gone, the father was more than happy to see the daughter's clan name change to that of her husband. She became of his property and his problem.

Why, in 2013, are we continuing this practice? I'm curious. What are your thoughts?

I'm fortunate. I married a wonderful man. I did not marry because society expected it of me. I did not marry because I was pressured. I was not handed over with a dowry. My husband wanted to marry me. I did not NEED to be married. I was living on my own, making my own money.

And I also wed a man who respected my desire to stay ME, to stay Tara Chevrestt. I kept the name given me upon birth, the name that I carried through childhood, the name I said proudly during roll calls, the name I used on job applications. The name Chevrestt got me through 23 years without fail. Why not continue with it?

I told my husband, "I am not your property. I am Tara Chevrestt."

This, however, has led to problems with other people. Men I used to work with would ask me, "You didn't take your  husband's name? Why not?"

"This is the 2000s. Why? I'm not his property. I am me. Despite the ring on my finger, I am still me."

This warranted outrage on their parts. "I wouldn't marry a woman that didn't take my name!"

"Why not?" I would ask.

"Because it's a sign of respect. If she doesn't take my name, she doesn't respect me."

I'd think on this and ask, "Do you respect your wife?"

"Of course."

"Then why don't you take her name?" And I would shrug. Seemed like such an honest question to me.

The answer is always, "It's just not done."

Pffffht.

Are we really still, thousands of years later, that close-minded a society?

p.s. The only reason mine is hyphenated on FB is to separate the personal me from the author me. ;)

Ask Away Sunday: How I Forgave My Bulliers

I had someone ask me a good question. They had just finished reading Love Request and the bullying side-story struck a nerve. The question was: How did you learn to forgive them? The questioner prefers anonymity.

I had to really ponder my answer. Truth is, sometimes I wonder if I have forgiven them...but in the end, I came to the realization I have. I cannot pinpoint when but I can tell you how. For me, it wasn't anything anyone else said to me; it wasn't therapy; it wasn't church. It was just...well, realization that came over time.

I was bullied from second grade until I was a junior in high school. I was called names, beaten up on the playground, I had spit balls thrown at me, I was the brunt of endless jokes. The hearing-impaired girl could do no right.

A common "game" I remember the kids playing--this is sometime after elementary school when the kids no longer cared to risk rolling around in the dirt with me to place bruises and kicks on me and yet before they discovered drugs and sex and got distracted from their torture, so middle school. I always sat in the front of the class to better read the teacher's lips. Behind me, boys would constantly whisper--just loud enough for me and those around us to hear, but not loud enough for the teacher to hear--"Tara, Tara." This was followed by snickers.

If I turned around and glared, they'd laugh their arses off because OMG I heard them! If I didn't turn around, they'd laugh even harder because of course, they just assumed the dumb deaf girl didn't hear them...No matter what I did, I was laughed at. Sometimes this had spit balls involved.

This "game" stayed with me throughout my life for some reason. I think it impacted in me what I just said above: "no matter what I did, no matter how I responded, I could do nothing right."

Bullying continued into adulthood, just changed forms. As a hearing "impaired" person trying to work in the hearing world, I was denied jobs as soon as my "affliction" was mentioned. I was fired for not answering the phone--which I couldn't hear on. I was escorted off the shop floor because my hearing aid made me "unsafe". There was no end to the humiliation.

I tell you all this not because I'm bitter, but so you know.

So how did I forgive? HOW?

Well, as I told the questioner, over time I realized 3 things. And this was the catalyst, the point where I learned to let go.

1. These people (bulliers)  must feel real bad about themselves because they only feel good about themselves when they are making others look or feel bad.

Obviously, these people have issues with their own image and self worth. I have not walked in their shoes and I can't judge, but rest assured, they are the ones with the problem here, not me.

2. They are intimidated by me. It has been instilled in humanity for some time that deaf is dumb. Even if people don't say it anymore, they act it. When people look at us and start speaking really really slow and loud, they send a message to those around us--including their children--this person is stupid. Look how I have to talk to them. he he. And the cycle continues. Actions speak louder than words.

And here I was, handicapped from the get-go, making straight As. I was not and am not dumb. And when you have someone supposed to be dumb/retarded doing just as good or better than you...

3. Had they not treated me bad, I wouldn't be who I am today. Heck, I may have been the one treating people bad! Because of what I went through, I know better. I'd rather be treated bad than live knowing I treated someone else bad, that I possibly scarred them for life.
Conclusion: People fear what they don't understand. If you're being bullied (and adults get bullied too!), try to tell yourself these things and remember...you're not the one with the problem, no matter what they say. It's them. 

Will this make your problems go away? Nope. But it may help you face it.

Want to ask me a question about me, deafness, my books, editing, publishing, whatever, for next Sunday? Head over to this post to fill out the form.

When Does Alpha Become Asshole?

In my editing career, I've edited some books I found distasteful...namely...forced seduction.

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe no means no. I don't care if she's enjoying and in the throes of ecstasy two minutes later, no means no.

The BDSM craze has made forced seduction "okay" in many publishers' books.

"Oh, he's just an alpha male."

To me, an alpha male is a man who takes charge, argues,  probably feels the need to prove his masculinity every 5 sentences (You can tell I don't like the traditional alpha. LOL), and often needles and teases the heroine.

An asshole is that man who stalks a woman, terrorizes her, makes her live to please him, and doesn't respect the word no. When the heroine says, "I don't like doing it this way", he just does it anyway.

I spotted a review (No, I did not read the book) on Amazon that made me really think hard on this. It was a one-star review for some erotic book and the reviewer said "Honestly, ask yourself as a woman, would you really relish being raped by the next service guy (regardless of his "Alpha Male" persona), who visits your house? (Alpha Male, seems to be a term now used to excuse rapists.)"

I actually agree with her. Are authors taking the "alpha" to extremes and making their heroes assholes instead? *Not ALL authors are doing this, but let's take a good look at the erotica industry for a moment.*

When does alpha become asshole? Where's that fine line? Where do YOU draw the line?

Stay for a Song

Love Request: a story about two people reconnecting on the Internet and a young woman discovering she can indeed be truly loved despite her "disability" while at the same time, facing down the bullies from her past. She could have been beaten down, refused to face it, went through life resentful and distrustful, but instead she chooses to open her heart and forgive.


I couldn't settle on one song for this book so I'm sharing with you today two songs, both by Amy Grant. I'm a huge fan of her.

The first one: Stay for A While. This is how Ciara remembers Hunter, years later.

Long time since I've seen your smile,

But when I close my eyes,

I remember

You were no more than a child,

But then so was I,

Young and tender.

Time carries on;

I guess it always will,

But deep inside my heart

Time stands still

The second one...this one has always touched a place deep inside me and though Ciara was never sexually abused, she faced a trauma of a different sort: bullying. Bullying does have long-term effects on people. The feelings of insecurity, fear of people, and extreme self-consciousness stay with people long into adulthood. The question is...how does one handle it? Can they be like this woman in Ask Me? Can they look in the mirror at a lovely woman face and see no more frightened little girl? Or do they still see that frightened child afraid to go to school for fear of what will be done to be her that day?

Now she's looking in the mirror at a lovely woman face

No more frightened little girl, like she's gone without a trace

Still she leaves the light burning in the hall

It's hard to sleep at all.

Not an official music video, but I love it. Someone named Terapath made it.

Make sure you don't live your life as a victim. Live your life as a person.

I Will Not Be Branded.

I've been told countless times..."brand yourself".

Now we've talked about target marketing and how I've thrown that out the window. Today I want to talk about the "branding" thing going around. 

If it works for you, great. If you want to write the same thing over and over and it doesn't bore you, fabulous. I'm happy for you, but me...

If I get a historical idea, I write it. If my muse says she's a shapeshifter, I write it. If suffragettes are screaming in my head, I write it. If I got this fun idea for a contemporary romance with humor, I write it.

Lots of authors say the key to selling is to BRAND themselves, write the same thing over and over. "I write only western romance. I write only regency." 

You get the picture. 

And while I'm not going to tell anyone they are wrong, here is why I disagree it's the right thing for me:

I'm a reader, have been one for a lot longer than I've been a writer. And I find books I want to read by visiting blogs. Let me take you through a timeline...

1. Blog I follow has awesome cover art posted...and a catchy title. Upon cover art catching my eye, I open the page to read the blurb or review.

2. Blurb/review may or may not interest me. If it sounds like 5,000 other books I've read, I shrug my shoulders and move on. If it sounds unique, it goes on my Amazon wishlist and Goodreads To Read.

3. Some time goes by. I have a lot of books already to read, but I will get my hands on that book and I will read it. I either like it or I don't.

4. Assuming I liked the story, upon finishing it, I promptly look to see what else the author has penned. He/she may have ten titles available. Again, I read the blurbs. Some will interest me, some will not. The ones that do, I put them on my to read and wishlist.

Where in all this do you see the step "I promptly looked for their brand"?

You didn't, 'cause I don't. As a reader, I could care less what an author's brand is. For me, it's all about blurbs. If the first book I read by an author is a strong woman in historical fiction book, whoo eee! If they have maybe two others like that 5 science fictions (not my forte) that doesn't stop me from reading the books that DO interest me.

So, from a reader's POV here, branding is...it's not doing anything for me. It doesn't persuade me to read your books one way or the other.

Thoughts?

Fast Love...Do You Buy It?

I've been noticing something. The romance e-book industry is very similar to the movies I like to watch on TCM, those old black-and-whites featuring Cary Grant, Greta Garbo, Bette Davis, William Powell...

I was watching one of my movies the other day (Double Indemnity) and it went like this:

Man knocks on door. Maid answers. Man sees attractive woman in background. They talk a few sentences of "Is your husband here? He needs to renew his car insurance." She comes downstairs, tells him to come back. He comes back. They talk about tea and insurance and that's it. Suddenly she is at his apartment and throwing herself in his arms, declaring how crazy she is for him.

This is not the movie I speak of, but he's been in a few of them.

What the hell? LOL

And e-books are the same way. FAST LOVE.

..man and woman meet....man and woman talk...some sparks fly...his dick hardens in his pants...her face heats...one day later, they are madly in love...cannot live without each other.

Attraction is always instant and love soon follows, even for the men.

I'm the fence with this practice. As a reader, I do believe there should be some personal connection. I need to feel their love come off the page, but I don't want to read 500 pages of dialogue and skirting around each other. It takes a very talented author to convey love in a few pages, to show me their relationship has reached that level, truly.

As a writer, I don't like writing page after page of mundane dialogue.

As a TV watcher, I often snort and roll my eyes...and sometimes just delete the movie--unless it's a comedy, then it all just makes me laugh--as it should.

Anyone else noticed this? Thoughts?

Choosing a Rhythm for Ride for Rights

Last week, a lady who runs a radio show was asking me if I wished for her to mention my YA historical novel on a special radio program for teenagers. How could I say no?

But then she asked me if there was a song I associated with it, a special soundtrack. After all, it's a radio show, and radio shows are about sound...

I had to really think on it. After all, I'm deaf and though I can hear some music if I connect an iPod to my hearing aid, I'm afraid I don't make it a habit of sitting here jamming. It takes too much concentration.

But I knew there was by Pink I liked. She always does these strong women music videos and stuff. So I sat down and browsed YouTub until I found one that I felt suited the story. Why I associate it with Ride for Rights?

First of all, Angeline and Adelaide are making trouble everywhere they go in the novel--even though it's not intentional. They are for the underdog too--women. Like Pink in the music video, they get themselves arrested, but they don't let it stop them from their goal. And though they come from a life of wealth, they can get nitty, gritty, and dirty when necessary. 

And my fingers

Are bejeweled

With diamonds and gold

But that ain't gonna help me now

And I imagine...if those two sisters ran across a town full of oppressed whores, they'd free them too. LOL

On that note, I'm just sharing the video with you. I'm gonna see what else I can come with for my other novels because truly, this was fun.

My Visit to the Kansas Deaf Cultural Center

Two weeks ago I was on vacation. Yes, I know. You had no clue. Thank Blogger for allowing me to schedule posts in advance. There wasn't a single boring day on Book Babe...at least I hope not.

Well, I went to Missouri and while there, my wonderful stepmother agreed to drive me to a town called Olathe in Kansas. That's where the Kansas School for the Deaf is and also, the Cultural Center.

I met author Shanna Groves there. She's the author of Confessions of a Lip Reading Mom and like me, she's hard of hearing. First of all, I was overwhelmed to the point I almost cried--in a good way. I discovered I'm not alone.

Now, I've always known there are others like me out there. I talk to them online. I've read their books...but to meet someone in person who understands what I go through, who goes through it herself, and even has some words of wisdom. It was a humbling experience and I feel I made a new friend.

We talked about our hearing husbands and the trials that come from this clash of hearing/deaf partnership. We talked about family and how some folks push us to go..."get fixed". We discussed her anti-bullying campaign and when she told me she wanted to use me as an example in a video she's making, I was flustered to the point I was nearly speechless. I'm really not sure what finally came out of my mouth. One of those moments, you know?

A very wonderful tour guide walked us through the museum.

I saw photos of the Deaf school students in the 1800s learning how to cook, run printing presses, playing sports. There's a fake apartment to show hearing people how we live: the gadgets we use, the light we need. There's a video that explains in a clear and yet touching manner the difference btw hard of hearing and deaf and the cultures. There's an area dedicated to a Deaf painter who went to school there and after a really bad accident caused him to be paralyzed, he didn't let that stop him...No. Deafness never stopped him and this wasn't going to stop him either. He painted with his mouth!

The thing that amazed me most of all though: I actually understood everyone. The tour guide, my stepmum, my new friend Shanna, the lady who ran the museum. I was in a group of people and understood every word.

You know why? They cared. I realize now that I don't have to be lost and confused. I don't have to let people (yes, this includes family members!) talk over my head as though I'm not there. They CAN make the effort if they want to.

Whether you have a hearing "impaired" member in your family or not, make it a practice to speak clearly and enunciate. It's really not that hard.

This post..it really has no point. I just wanted to share a bit of myself with you. This day, this experience, this new friendship...was just something so wonderful that happened to me.

Thank you, Chuck (the wonderful tour guide) and Shanna Groves for a memory that I will always cherish.

And They Lived Happily Ever After...

I realize it's a requirement with most publishers nowadays, but I must say...as a reader, I grow weary of HEAs. Not that I don't think we shouldn't have them or our characters shouldn't have them, but...well, I'm like never surprised anymore. :/ I know asap they're gonna have a happy ending.

True, some books give you a fun ride to that ending, but sometimes, they don't.

And here's my question: What has happened to the shock factor? Why do I rarely pick up a book that shocks me in the end? I like to be shocked. I like to be left sitting there with my mouth open, my eyes wide. I like an excuse to yell at my husband, "OMG!!! You wouldn't believe what this author did! She killed him!! Whaaa!"

We have tragedy in movies and on television, why not in books? The same women who watch those soap operas full of cheating and murdering spouses claim they can't handle a tragic ending in a book. Something is off here.

A book that evokes a major reaction out of me is a good book.

And last but not least, why do all the books end with marriage/finding each other? Does having three screaming children, battling breast cancer, finding and losing jobs, mortgage payments, and in-laws from hell not constitute happy ever afters? 

Then none of us have one in real life. LOL

Personally, I think that feeling of total happiness doesn't come when you walk down the aisle, but when ten years after marriage, you're sitting there in pajamas, your hair is a mess, you've been sick, vomiting, you look like hell...but the person you married kisses your forehead and asks if you need more 7-Up. You know this person loves you no matter what...

Anyways...look at all the great writers like Edgar Allan Poe and Shakespeare. They did not have HEAs. People died. People went to jail. People committed suicide. Life played out on the page...

So when did this change and why? When did tragic endings become taboo? Why is it all rather cheesy now? 

And yes, I have that HEA in most of my stories. Nobody would accept em if I didn't. *winks* But I'm delivering what readers apparently want. But...why is this? Does nobody care for Shakespeare and Poe anymore? :(

Thoughts?

Is There a Right Way to Read?

Last week, I talked about authors and some of the bad habits I'm seeing. To be fair to them, this week I'm going to talk about readers. There's no right or wrong way to be a reader, but there are ways you can be more supportive.

Here is how you can support authors:

LIKE them on Facebook. It takes a second. And with the Facebook system being the way it is nowadays, trust me, you won't see half of what they have to tell you or share with you.

Log onto Facebook, look to the left. It says Favorites, Ads, Pages. Beneath PAGES, you see Pages Feed and an orange flag. If you click on that once a day, you'll see what your favorite authors had to say that day. Take a moment to LIKE their posts. It's really very little effort and it makes a huge difference. The more likes a post gets, the more interesting Facebook will determine it is, and the more folks they will permit to see it.

Honest truth from me: I have over 1,000 page likers, but Facebook only permits about 33 of those people to see a post. We need those likes. EVEN BETTER, comment!

Don't wait for a book to be free. (It may never be free) If you're interested, buy it. Remember, authors spend hours, months actually in writing and editing a book. They then spend countless hours trying to tell you about that book. Seeing an alarming number of people say things on goodreads like, "Oh, just wait for it to be free."

Don't buy on Amazon if you can avoid it. Don't be afraid of publisher sites. Dirty little secret here. You love those 99 cent books, right? Who doesn't. Amazon takes 65% of that, leaving the publisher with 35 cents and if the publisher retains 45% of all royalties, your favorite authors is only making 35% of 35 cents. So even after 50 books are sold, she is left with...2 bucks.

OUCH!

Now, I'm not saying boycott Amazon, but if there is a publisher site you find easy to use, USE IT instead. Sadly, I cannot seem to get people to head to publisher sites and have given up entirely on sharing those links. But if more people got on board...

Don't read a book you know you won't like. I'm seeing more and more readers reading simply for the sake of writing snarky reviews. If you didn't like the first five books, why are your reading book six? Just to poke fun?

Do write a review. Being honest in a review often means there are bad reviews, but don't make it personal. Shelves like "worst book ever", "don't give up your day job", and others...is that really necessary? And don't attack the author personally and tell that author they should not be writing.

Too self-conscious to write a review? Just tell your friends about it. Word of mouth goes a long way. Share it on your Facebook or twitter, your book club.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Are You An ABB?

Author Behaving Badly.

You've heard that saying before and mostly on goodreads or Amazon. Immediately, what springs to mind is "Oooh. They must have commented on a negative review. Tsk. Tsk."

Not necessarily. And this may sound funny coming from me, but first and foremost, I'm a reader. I LOVE to read and this is my reader two cents and this how if you're not an ABB, you can avoid being one. ;)

I mentioned previously that lots of folks are being twits. Twitter...just spam, spam, spam. I said nobody talks about anything at all but their book. And then there's Pinterest. I don't need or want to see fornicating couples every time I log on. But here are some more examples of what I'm seeing in the industry that is just :O.

Facebook: Don't friend 5,000 people and spam them. If you have more friends than you can keep up with, than you can honestly take an interest in, then it may be time to reevaluate. Personally, I no longer bother friending strangers. If I don't know you personally, I won't friend you. My account now is strictly friends only. The entire world does not need to be privy to all my deep thoughts and occasional rants of frustration. 

Don't friend me just to sell me a book. It doesn't work.

Just because you are published with the same publisher does not mean you are not a stalker, murderer, or psycho. To tell the truth, some of the books I'm seeing from some of my publishers...um, err, there's def a chance there are some perverts sending me friend requests. Sorry, but no. Please go like my author page, which is open to the public--including perverts. LOL

Don't friend me if you don't plan to give me the time of day. It's really not hard to "like" something someone says periodically, let them know you are there.

Otherwise, just have a page. It won't clog anyone's feed... Lemme tell you a secret... Log onto Facebook, look to the left, in the sidebar, Favorites, Pages, Groups... Beneath Pages, there's a pages feed with an orange flag. You click on that and you can see what was posted on all the pages you like.

And hey, it's a page dedicated to YOU, about YOU. Spam away!

Events: DO NOT invite all 400 of your friends to your book release party. Facebook, sadly, has it set up so that we receive these really annoying notifications to everything said in the event, whether we want to go or not, until we can actually log onto the computer and turn them off. This is irritating. I have gotten hate mail because someone mass invited hundreds of people to an event I was hosting.

Authors, follow directions. There's apparently a sudden influx of illiterate authors...somehow they can write, but can't read.

A prime example is I have posted about my Strong is Sexy Heroine of the Week feature a few times. It's very specific about what I want/need an author to send me. So, why then, do I get five emails, all asking me "What do you need?"

Please, READ the instructions before you go ballistic and email me.

Also...if someone agrees to host you on their blog, REMEMBER it. Send your stuff in time. Bloggers are not your secretaries.

If it feels like I'm attacking authors, I'm really not. I have began to follow these rules myself. I'm an author too! And next week, I'm going to post my thoughts on how readers can better support them. But it's a two-way street, folks.

If you want readers to support you as a writer, show them these tiny signs of respect.

'Til next Saturday. :)

Let's Start A Revolution!

Last month, I posted some pictures of myself on Facebook. I had attended a function, an award's ceremony, with the husband. I wore a ruffled dress and worried the ruffles made me look fat.

This led to a discussion...

We need to stop this nonsense!!! And I know it's hard...because every five stinking minutes, every single time we turn on the television, every commercial that comes on, in every TV show we watch ***Does anyone watch Fast N' Loud, a flipping cars show? Just this last week the host Richard had a model coming in for a photo shoot and you know what the mofo said to the camera? "I hope she's not plus-sized." So what if she is, you pig?***every time we come online and check our email, Yahoo bombards us with pictures of the Hollywood starlets half naked on the red carpet in their skeleton bodies.

Every 5 minutes, we are told we need to look like this:

What I confessed to myself was: It's really just society's perception of what is sexy that keeps making me feel bad about myself. I need to learn to ignore it, but it gets really hard when all these "sexy" women photos are everywhere on Internet and TV. I swear every 5 min, we are reminded of what society thinks is sexy and I am not it.

No, I am not a size 0. You can't count my ribs. My hair isn't long and and mussed in sexy "I just got ravished" tendrils, my feet are not child-size. But does that mean I'm not sexy?

In the 1940s, 50s, and 60s...the women had curves and it was acceptable. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. What happened to that? When did Hollywood decide women must be size zeros and about to blow away? And when did we start letting them tell us this? And worse, when did we begin to believe it?

Here's what I'm proposing: I want to start a revolution. I want us women to STOP believing this crap and start believing we are sexy the way we are. It must start with YOU and ME.

AND QUIT LETTING MEN OBJECTIFY YOU. The more you struggle with your appearance, the more you play right into their hands. I'm not saying to quit doing your makeup or whatever. You just do enough that when you look in the mirror you say, "Oooh, you sexy beeyotch!" Not, "Shoot! I don't look like Beyonce yet."

KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE BOOB JOBS. Increasing the size of your tits does not increase your value as a person or a woman. STOP doing things just to please men. 

Now, many women say, "I did it for ME." 

If you did it because having men stare at your chest makes you feel better about yourself, did you really do it for yourself?

If you need men ogling you to feel valued, that needs to stop too. *I do understand women who have breast cancer or health problems that deform or cause their breasts to sag too soon getting implants. This is aimed at those women who look in the mirror and say, "OMG! My breasts are too small! Men won't find me attractive."

And before I end my essay, what's up with Victoria's Secret ? Their Bright Young Things line or whatever it's called is targeting 13, 14, 15 year olds. And of course, the young models look as though they are about to blow away in a second. All skin over bones. Is this what we want our young girls to strive to be?

Don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with a young girl wanting hot pink panties, but I don't like the image/message VS is sending out with their young I'm-bout-to-blow-away girls modeling the stuff. Girls have enough self-esteem issues.

I'm going to sign off with a quote from my bestie Amanda because I really can't say it better:

"The problem is that there is one defined perception of sexy and it f's up so many women. There are so many women out there of all sizes that are amazing, sexy, and beautiful but nobody can admit it because of what people consider as the norm. I've started learning that it's soooo much easier to love myself no matter what than it is to hate myself and not be able to look in the mirror."

Thoughts?

Cover Art Woes & the Nonexistence of Lady Zorros

So...I have a book. When it was first released with a publisher, the cover I was given... Let me just say finding a woman Zorro is HARD. Finding a woman Zorro that isn't white and blonde (Really!!! Zorro was Spanish!) was harder. We made do...

My readers hated it. So when the book was republished, a friend redid the art. Readers voted for it on a poll here on Book Babe.

Well....

Had they read the book, they'd known a woman in a dress with a lace mask does not suit the story at all. But they didn't read it--there hadn't really been time as the pub crashed so quickly.

However, the lace mask began to irritate me a few months down the road. The artist did a fantastic job with what she had available--jack squat in lady Zorros, but it wasn't growing on me. So I just did a Spanish senorita thing, as when Catalina is not El Capitan, she's a lovely senorita.

I'm very happy with cover three, but now there are THREE of them. Now, stock images are used over and over. I just saw Avon romance use my dude on Love Request. But there are always little differences. They never look exactly the same. The problem with this is everyone (just like me) just added text to it.





So I ask you, readers and authors, how important is it to have UNIQUE cover art, because I certainly don't.

Thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions? To stand out in this industry, to pimp this book, should I get new art? Go back to lace mask and dress? What?