Tip From Tara: Size DOES Matter

This is for you romance writers...especially those of you with sex scenes. This is an adults-only post.

I'm seeing a growing trend--actually, I suppose it's nothing new; women have been doing it for years, but I must confess....

You are trying to write a hot, passionate love scene. I'm guessing you want me to flush, grow a tad heated, maybe fan my myself and glance around sheepishly to make sure nobody is in the room.

Sometimes, you succeed. I find myself doing this...

And then you kill the mood.

I blink a few times. I visualize what you're saying.

Then I burst out laughing. I laugh so hard tears run down my face. I may even snort. I run to tell my husband what I just read. He scoffs and then he laughs too.

I'm pretty sure that's not what you intended, but honestly, what I am supposed to think when you declare your hero has a cock that when laying flat reaches his knees? Or when you say it rivals the tree trunks around them? Or when your heroine feels it in her throat...and he's NOT getting oral treatment?

Ladies, would you want to play with one that big? If it reaches his knees or it touches your throat when it's in there, honey, you are IMPALED on that thing. That's not a romance; that's a horror novel!

So...heh. Size does matter. Be realistic or  you can really kill the mood. On that note, I'm going to avoid making this post TOO LONG, and wish you all a great Saturday!

Dear Blogger, I Don't Have All Day. (A Tip from Tara)

I recently did a number of book blogging tours for some of my titles. While I appreciate bloggers taking the time to host me and in some cases, even read and review the books, I noticed something that dismayed me. I mean, it's my own damn book on their site, and even I fell asleep halfway through looking the blog post over. Bloggers, I don't have all day. I doubt anyone else does either... 

DO NOT MAKE DAY-LONG BLOG POSTS.

That's my tip. 

You have signed up for a tour. Yay! Thank you! 

You receive the following:
-Book to read if you wish.
-Blurb, excerpt, buy links
-Guest post or interview questions answered

Why are you posting it ALL? I had some blog spots that were literally pages long. Blurb, buy links, 1000-word excerpt, 500-word review, and then a 1000-word guest post! Add to that the author bio... and this is what happens to me.

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Let's use some common sense here. Blog tours are supposed to help get the word out about our books and hopefully sell a few in the process. It would be nice at least to make back the money we spent for the tour to begin with. I've yet to see this happen, but regardless.... you are not doing authors any favors by having a day-long post. If you lose your readers' attention a quarter through, we aren't going to reach anyone.

How to simplify it?

If I'm going to write a review, I won't sign up for a guest post. I figure my few paragraphs of opinion is enough. The post is: blurb, buy links, review, author bio. That's it.

If I'm supposed to review a book but can't stand it and won't finish it, the review is replaced with the excerpt, so it's blurb, buy links, excerpt, bio.

If I don't want to read the book, it's blurb, buy links, guest post, author bio.

Take note that no matter what I do, it's four items and that's it. 

Blurb, buy links, excerpt, review, author bio, guest post... I don't have time for all that and I doubt the readers do either. Just sayin'.

Till next time.

Tip From Tara: Don't Put Yourself First

Today I want to talk about me, you, and I.

Are you conveying a tone of selfishness in your writing? Are you putting yourself first?

What's wrong with the following sentences?

Me and James went to the park.

She offered to help me and my children.

He said he'd take my children and I to the park.

One of the most common errors in writing is PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST.

If I put ME before YOU, it's not only a sign of selfishness--I mean, I am putting myself before ya'll--but it's wrong. 

First lesson here: Quit putting yourself first. Put others first.

The correct way to say the sentences above:

James and I went to the park.

She offered to help my children and me.

He said he'd take my children and me to the park.

Why is it James and I went to the park and not James and me or me and James?

First of all, it's correct, polite, and unselfish, to put James before myself. That's one easy way to remember it... Put others first. 

Secondly, if we were to remove James from the equation, you'd be left with either: me went to the park or I went to the park.

I think you can see the reasoning there. Me went to the park does not work. So when in doubt about me or I, take the other person out and see what it says then.

The same goes for sentence three:

Incorrect: He said he'd take my children and I to the park.

Correct: He said he'd take my children and me to the park.

It would sound really funny to say, He said he'd take I to the park.

And any good parent would always put their children first, right? 

Incorrect: She offered to help me and my children.

Correct: She offered to help my children and me.

Grammar-wise, just like in real life, remember not to put yourself first. Don't be a selfish person.

Tip from Tara: Be Careful What You Do With That Ex...

I recently spotted a book on Netgalley. It had a great cover, but I noticed something that made me cringe ASAP... There's nothing I hate more than typos on book covers. I mean, really, it's proof that pretty much everyone is a publisher nowadays, and if you are putting books out there with typos on the covers, you need to take a step away from the industry because you're doing nobody any favors--not the authors with you, not the readers who may actually think that's the proper spelling--after all, it's on a book cover!

I did a quick little Amazon search and found there is a serious problem with the word EX, EXES, and EX's, and I decided this was a good opportunity to talk about apostrophes and their blatant misuse.

What is wrong with these bits of two book covers and the use of the word EX'S? *I do not know the authors, nor have I read the books. To avoid embarrassing anyone, I've cut the relevant parts, but these are actually on book covers. I use this as an example of apostrophe abuse because this is a book blog. I'm rather dismayed at how often I find this error, on covers, in blurbs, in Yahoo articles. Mind boggling. Apparently it's become acceptable! And while I respect there will be errors in the actual book (I've read some BIG 6 books and noted a typo or two), take care with your covers. And reporters reporting...ugh, they should know better.*

I'm just going to post the correct way of using the word EX, EXES, and EX's.

Let's say your ex-boyfriend had a nice grandma.
"My ex's grandmother was really nice."
One ex, mine, possessive.

Or it could be, "My ex had a nice grandma."
One ex, mine, not possessive.

Let's say your ex and your best friend's ex met each other at the mall or hooked up to have an affair of their own...
"Our exes met at the mall."
Two exes, your ex and your best friend's ex, not possessive.

Let's say your ex and your best friend's ex had a baby together.
"Our exes' child was born yesterday."
Two exes, your ex and your best friend's ex, possessive.

So...the above covers should say EXES. Our EXES hooked up. (The bits come from erotic novels in which exes are hooking up). Ex's is singular, possessive. The above titles make me wonder, "Your ex's what? What does your ex own?"

"I have six exes."
"That's my ex's house."
"Our exes met and had a baby."
"Our exes' baby was born in June."

I'm seeing apostrophes misused everywhere--in song titles, in Yahoo articles...

's is only added when possessive or when two words are shortened to one, like:
"She is" becomes "she's".
"He is" becomes "he's".

You wouldn't say, "I love cowboy's."
The only time that 's would be there is if the cowboy owns something. "I love the cowboy's butt."

And.....that's all folks. 

Image courtesy of farconville / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tip from Tara: Put Your Book On Goodreads!!!

I used Grammarly to grammar check this post, because Pudgy Pug and I had a tussle over the keyboard. She wanted to post more demands for treats and discuss her latest bowel movement--NOT appropriate content for Book Babe! Anyway, who knows if she got a paw in or not.

I felt it past time to post this. Authors, here is a HOW-TO Guide for putting your books on Goodreads. I'm tired of doing it for you. *insert sweet smile* And truth is, sometimes I see a book on Amazon I want to read and I go to GR to mark it so I don't forget about it...and it's not there, and I just don't bother. That means...I forget about it and that book never gets read. So bookmark this!

First of all, if you haven't already applied for a Goodreads Author Account, you need to do so. First, you need to use Goodreads as a user, just a plain average reader, and once you have 50 books on your shelf, you may email Goodreads and apply for an author account. I advise you to make your plain-Jane account the same name you will be wanting your author account under so the combining of them goes smoothly. As a Goodreads author you will be able to edit your own books, rather than have a librarian do it for you all the time.

Anyone can add a book to the database, to my knowledge. If you are just adding your book for the first time, or even adding another edition of the same book (cover change, publisher change, etc...please put ALL editions on the site. Reviewers like to mark the edition they are reading specifically), this is what you can do:

Do a search in the Goodreads search box at the top. Type in the title of your book, add a comma, your author name.

If the search does NOT pull up your book, then you need to add it. Look to the right of the list...

You'll see this:

Click on the words: Manually add a book.

You will then see this screen:

It is as simple matter of filling out the form. Author name, title, numbers, blurb, language. In the upper right there is a place to upload the book cover. It's best not to swipe it from Amazon but use your jpg.

Click on:

And you are done!!!!!

Now, if you have added another edition of a book already in the database due to cover change, publisher change, etc, this is where you WILL need to enlist the help of a librarian. You can almost always find someone willing to do this as it takes seconds... Often you can go into a Goodreads help group such as: Goodreads Feedback and ask for help. Mention the book title and your author name and ask if someone would combine the editions for you.

BUT, you can EDIT the data on any of your titles. Simply go to the book's page by using the search engine and clicking away--or use your author dashboard--and click edit details in the book's description. Please see what I've circled in the following screen shot. This is pretty tricky to find.

Clicking on that will pull up that same form you saw to first create the book. Change whatever data needs to be changed. Perhaps someone else entered your book and didn't have the ASIN number or something and you need to add that. Be sure to add your reason for changing data.

Click on Save Changes.

I hope this helps. 

Tip from Tara: Is Your Subject Performing Your Verb?

I've been leaving a lot of comments like this in the MSs I edit:

Your subject is the tree. The verb is staring. Are the trees staring? No... Your subject needs to be performing your verb. 

It's really that simple.

Staring at a spot in the darkness, the trees swayed to and fro.

I get what the author is trying to say, especially when I read the rest of the paragraph. A man is walking through the woods, spying on a cabin, but I shouldn't have to think about it. The subject should be clear and the verb even clearer. In the sentence above, the subject is the trees. There is no clear subject, really. I assume it's the trees. The action is...staring or swaying, one or the other. More confusion.

He stared at a spot in the darkness and noticed the trees swayed to and fro.

Now your subject is the man and your man is performing the verb. Both are clear.

Deepening the kiss, his hands caressed the bare skin under her skirt.

His hands are the subject. How can they deepen a kiss?

As he deepened the kiss, he caressed the bare skin under her skirt.

Now, HE is the subject and he's deepening the kiss and caressing her. It's more clear.

This often happens when a passive sentence is in use. Watch those passive sentences and make sure your subject is always performing the verb. While you don't want every sentence beginning with HE or SHE, neither do want them all starting with ING words.

Thanks for reading!

Tips from Tara: Don't Be A Twit!

I'm seeing lots of posts like this lately, and I just have to add my own two cents. 

I use social networking a lot, but lately, some things have been grating on my nerves. It seemed like a good post. I could go on and on about DOs, but I'm still learning them myself. But I def figured out a few DON'Ts just by watching. And most of my quibbles are about Twitter.

When someone follows you on Twitter, DO NOT immediately DM them and say, "Thank you for the follow. Please follow my blog and FB page too...*insert link*"

Rude much?

Don't be pushy. Let people get to know you at their own pace. You want to post a mass thing that says, "I have a new FB page. Would appreciate the follow," that's one thing. Directly messaging someone who doesn't know you yet... Just. Don't.

DO (I had one!) talk about something besides your book. Talk about a blog post that has nothing to do with your book. Share an article. I get tired of seeing the same book mentioned twenty times a day.

There is such a thing as OVER-promoing. I won't name names, but I'm so sick to death of seeing certain titles mentioned every 5 minutes on Twitter or FB, I swear to the goddess, I will never read a single one of them and they could be the greatest thing since Coca Cola...or chocolate.

DON'T correct people's spelling on Twitter. Someone was probably excited, strung to the breaking point, perhaps they had 5,000 things to do, and shoot, in their haste, they misspelled a word. Let it go. As long as their book is edited, let them tweet like normal people. Not everyone has a phD.

And now I'm going to talk about another site...

You wrote an erotic romance series... YAY! It got published. Good for you! You think it's hot and sexy. *throws confetti* You discovered Pinterest. Oh dear.

I'm just going to say this. While I'm not a prude, I DO NOT want to see people fornicating every single time I open my Pinterest account. Keep that in mind. We don't need photo after photo of your hero diddling your heroine...in the tub...on the rug...on the top of a car...

Post a bit and then take a break.

That's my advice for the day. Don't let the fact you're behind an avatar give you leave to be rude. 

Below is the slot for YOUR two cents. Let's hear what you have to say.

Tip from Tara: A BLOND or BLONDE Moment?

So some digital publisher declared that BLOND was male and BLONDE was female. They are right...but...every time I have an editor or a proofer or something...I have to constantly change or explain or just resign myself to accepting the wrong word when blonde/blond is used.

So let me try to explain this.

A man is a blond.
A woman is a blonde.

Did you notice the A in there?

When used to describe a person, you follow the above rule.

The blond ordered a cup of coffee. *That sentence just informed me a man with blond hair bought a cup of coffee.*

The blonde ordered a cup of coffee. *That one just told me a woman with blond hair bought a cup of coffee.*

BUT, when used as an adjective, blond hair has no sex. Look how I used it above when explaining sentence number 2. (woman with blond hair...)

She brushed her light blond hair.

He ran a hand through his blond locks.

The wig was blond.

It's really very simple. Unless you're having a blond moment... ;)

(Note. That's a joke. I do not in any way or form believe the blond people theory.)

Tip From Tara: Breathing and Barking

This is going to be short and simple. Unless you're some magical being who has no lungs or is pumped full of some gas requiring no circulation or renewal, I think it's safe to say you breathe.

You breathe 24/7. So what kind of dialogue tag is this?

"I think you're sexy," he breathed.

When did he stop breathing? Did anyone do CPR on the poor guy?

I hate it. Get it out of your MS. Unless the character is a magical being pumped full of gas who hardly ever breathes. LOL

And while I'm on the subject of irritating dialogue tags...

"Go to your room!" she barked.

Always, without fail, I visualize the character falling to his/her hands and knees and yapping like a dog. If you don't want me picturing that, you may want to revise it.

And that's all. Have a great day and don't forget to breathe. ;)

Tip From Tara: He Said, She Said.

Let's talk about said. Let's talk about dialogue tags. Look at this:

"How did you do in school today?" Mom asked.

"I think I did all right," Jesse said.

"Good for you. After your homework, you can go outside," Mom said.

"Thanks, Mom," he said.

Holy crap. One gets sick to death of that said, said, said. There are thousands of words you can use in place of said, not that I suggest using dialogue tags a lot. I personally like to throw a few action tags in there to set up the scene.

Some examples of dialogue tags:

jested
replied
murmured
stated
reassured
hollered
yelled
shouted
sobbed
retorted
informed
declared
announced
pleaded
teased

We can go on all day. Here's what I do with the above example:


"How did you do in school today?" Mom asked, glancing at Jesse from where she was preparing dinner over the stove.

"I think I did all right," Jesse replied with a shrug.

"Good for you. After your homework, you can go outside," she informed him.

"Thanks, Mom." Jesse grinned happily.

So, do a word search for said and replace some of them.

I've said my piece.

Tip From Tara: That's Enough!

I'm sick of that! I really am! Seriously, I am sick of that!

It's the most overused word in the English language. Authors, open your current WIP and do a search for that. You may find you have over 1,500 of them. I promise you can get rid of half of them and your readers won't miss a beat.

I've decided that I need to leave.

I told him that I love him and that I can't live without him.

He said that he was going to be late.

Each one of those sentences do just fine without the that.

I've decided I need to leave.

I told him I love him and can't live without him.

He said he was going to be late.

Can you see how tiresome the word would be if all those sentences were in a paragraph?

I've decided that I need to leave. I told him that I love him and that I can't live without him, and all he said back was that he was going to be late.

Four thats. And I see this all the time. I hate that. Really, that's enough already!

Tip from Tara: Easy on the Eyes

Yes, please, go easy on the eyes. I swear it's one of the most commonly overused words in literature. Some common things I'm seeing that are driving me nuts...

I've ran across manuscripts that feel, for some strange reason--I guess the authors think we have sh*t memories and won't remember what their characters look like because I have noticed some authors like to remind us, the reader, constantly, what eye color the hero/heroine eyes. Make a note: You don't have to tell me the eye color every single time to you mention their eyes.

I looked into his deep brown eyes. Then a page later: His deep brown eyes were full of sadness. Then a page later: I could feel his deep brown eyes raking over my skin like hot coals.

And while I'm on the subject, your eyes don't pop our of your head and rake over anyone's body.

His eyes met mine.

Did your eyeballs pop out of your head at the same time as his and have some kind of eyeball meet and greet? *Note. I personally love disobeying the disembodied parts rule, but I hate it when it's eyes. I try to use the word gaze as much as I can.*

My point today: Enough with the eyes. You told me once his eyes were a deep brown. I don't need to be told every single page or every time the character is mentioned.

And that's all folks. Hope this wasn't hard on your eyes. ;)

Tip from Tara: Don't Lead Me On

Something else I'm seeing a lot of in my editing gig... confusion with the led, lead, and lead.

Don't lead me on. Lead is present tense. He leads me on. She leads the parade. This form of the word, a verb, is associated with being in charge, which I love to be. He he.

He led me away from the park. Led is the past tense of lead.

But if you were to say "did you led the parade?" Well, duh, that doesn't sound right. Use common sense.

However, I'm seeing the word lead everywhere and people seem to be forgetting led is the past tense of lead.

I think this error is being made because of how the word lead is used when it's a noun.

Lead is a metal.

I'll pump you full of lead. And it's pronounced the same as led, but don't get them confused!

Other words to watch for:

Barely -- barely there
Barley -- a grass

affect -- verb
effect -- noun

His angry gaze (is what is affecting me) made me shiver with fear (and that's the effect.)

confident -- one feels pretty damn good about themselves
confidant -- someone you confide in

And here's another one I keep seeing. I can't get past this.

His crimes are in the past. Past is just that: in the past, long ago.
She passed him on the road. Passed is a verb.

It's all elementary, but easy to forget as time passes.

Are You Afraid of Periods?

Got your attention? Great...let's talk about periods today, and no, I don't mean the dreaded menses, though that's pretty scary sometimes too... I want to talk punctuation.

Today's tip from Tara...look closely at your computer keyboard. Let's focus on the space bar for a second as it's the largest key and easy to find. Yes, I'm being sarcastic. ;) Now above it and moving in the right direction is B, N, M, ,, and then... . 

You've found it... now hit a few times, get used to the feel. It's easy, isn't it? It's as simple as hitting any other key, such as ;, right?

My tip is simple. Anytime you feel the urge to put a ;, please don't. I don't know what's going on with the sudden love affair with the semi colon, but ebook publishers do not like it. It's ill advised in fiction and is rarely used right. I'm seeing them everywhere. They are even invading my dreams. It's an editor's nightmare, replacing all these buggers.

Here what I deal with on a daily basis:

He ran toward her; she was far away.

Why, oh please, why, is the author so afraid of the PERIOD?

He ran toward her. She was far away.

So, get over your fear of periods! They really aren't that bad. Hit that key. I promise it won't bite you, and guess what? Sometimes, Word actually even capitalizes the beginning of the sentence for you automatically! So it's really not that much work. :)

A Tip from Tara: The Word Hiss

Many of you know that besides being a writer, I'm also an editor. When I'm not writing, I'm sitting here looking at someone else's writing, leaving comments about their story, correcting their grammar and punctuation, explaining what a head hop is...and I've decided to every now and then, when I have a free day on here, to provide a few tips for writers.

I actually had an editor tell me this long ago, and now I'm sharing it because I'm seeing it more and more. So, here goes:

Can you pick the correct sentence?

A. "How could you?" she hissed.

B. "You'll pay for this," she hissed.

C. "Leave me alone," she hissed.

If you answered B, you are correct. Tell me, how do you hiss a sentence without an S? And yet, you see the word hissed used as a dialogue tag all the time in sentences such as A and C. WRONG!

So when you find yourself using HISSED as a dialogue tag, stop and look at that sentence. If you're saying "Your ass is grass!" you're on the right track. You can really hiss that! Try it. Say it out loud. Your assss is grasssss.

But if you are saying "Leave me alone," eh...

Have a fantasssstic day!