Saturday, October 19, 2013

Tip From Tara: Size DOES Matter

This is for you romance writers...especially those of you with sex scenes. This is an adults-only post.

I'm seeing a growing trend--actually, I suppose it's nothing new; women have been doing it for years, but I must confess....

You are trying to write a hot, passionate love scene. I'm guessing you want me to flush, grow a tad heated, maybe fan my myself and glance around sheepishly to make sure nobody is in the room.

Sometimes, you succeed. I find myself doing this...

And then you kill the mood.

I blink a few times. I visualize what you're saying.

Then I burst out laughing. I laugh so hard tears run down my face. I may even snort. I run to tell my husband what I just read. He scoffs and then he laughs too.

I'm pretty sure that's not what you intended, but honestly, what I am supposed to think when you declare your hero has a cock that when laying flat reaches his knees? Or when you say it rivals the tree trunks around them? Or when your heroine feels it in her throat...and he's NOT getting oral treatment?

Ladies, would you want to play with one that big? If it reaches his knees or it touches your throat when it's in there, honey, you are IMPALED on that thing. That's not a romance; that's a horror novel!

So...heh. Size does matter. Be realistic or  you can really kill the mood. On that note, I'm going to avoid making this post TOO LONG, and wish you all a great Saturday!


  1. I've noticed the same problem in a lot of romance and erotica. Unless breast or penile size is an actual, serious part of the storyline for some reason, it doesn't really need to be included. It seems so amateurishness to read a story where the cup size or penis length is included, like it's such an important detail. Whatever happened to saying someone's average, well-endowed, or small, without giving the exact measurements?

    A few months ago, I read an unintentionally hilarious story where the hero's penis started out 12 inches, then grew to 18 inches and his testicles to grapefruit-size, after he was kidnapped and held hostage by some psycho doctor using him in a fertility clinic.

  2. LOL. Thanks for your comment. You gave me a good laugh. And you are right. Some things should just be left to the imagination.

  3. LOL. I"m so glad I don't read erotica.