Sunday, June 30, 2013

What Were They Looking For???

I'm starting something new. At the end of every month, I'm going to share with you...blogging...err...what's the word? Funny Blogger Dashboard Keyword Searches.

See, in our dashboards, we have this page of stats and it tells us what keywords led someone to our blog. Sometimes I've had to scrape my eyebrows off the ceiling after viewing this page. I'm amazed at what people search for...even more amazed their searches leading them here...

Take this one for example:

Cock longer than your boot??? Um, you know, there is such thing as too big...

A fellow blogging acquaintance helped me figure out Google search (Ok. I'm lying. I honestly don't know how she did. I did all kinds of searches on google, yahoo, and my blog with the words "cock is longer than your boot" and I couldn't figure this out) and she figured out that the post they were finding with this search is Pink Boots  and a Machete, a book by Mireya Mayor I featured on here a while back.

Ok, wait up. How could I be talking about cock in a post like that?

I'm not. LOL

"She travels to South America and the Congo both and braves worms in her feet, scorpion bites, killer bee stings, cock roaches in her pants, possible gorilla attacks, blood infections, and all for the love of monkeys."

Pretty crazy, huh? And "hearing aid boyfriends?" Does someone want a boyfriend who specifically wears a hearing aid? Nothing wrong with that, but what an odd way to try to find one. Maybe it's a woman who is known for her incessant nagging and has finally admitted a deaf man may be the way to go...he can turn his aids off.

Another odd one. Is this a foreign language? Now you can see I'm also having fun with these screen shots.

babec booms sixey? 

What do you think that is? A Google search pulled up a site called Sexy Babe With Very Nice Boobs. Well, thank you! NOT! It's actually a porn site and I didn't enter.

How about this one below? Dancing nude. Sex slaves. I'd say we're a sex-obsessed society! Are we not getting enough of it at home??

And here, apparently someone wants to see my sister author, Laura DeLuca's....errr...assets. I'm afraid I don't include that data in the author spotlights. Sorry, searcher.

And who is Courtney Dalton????

I'd like to know was babessins are. Babe assassins?

Now I've heard of barefoot and pregnant but barefoot and doing everyday things? A new fetish, perhaps? And what is vintage sex? Sex over sixty? Sex in the twenties? Sex when hubby's sleeping...that may be kind of hard. LOL

And yea, I guess I should explain why all those husband on a leash searches are leading people my way...*sheepish grin* It's not what you think...really.

It's a book review for a book called How to Keep Him on a Short Leash. It was a funny, silly thing I picked up one day and ever since, it's been drawing all these hits, though I'm sure people are looking for something a heck of a lot more racy with those terms!

What are some weird terms showing up on YOUR blogs?


  1. Oh these made me giggle! I've checked mine, no random funny ones though :/

  2. LOL.Stand in line searcher. There are lots of people waiting to see my assets :)

    My craziest searches for today aren't as bad as yours, but my review blog, New Age Mama came up with: Teens in wooden clogs. Nothing interesting on my author blog.

  3. From time to time I will look at the search queries that bring people to my blog as well. The weirdest one was related to octopus...